I wrote a poem...

for him for his birthday...not like he'll ever see it. Like to read it? Here it goes...


Untitled

It’s not exactly crystal clear when I told you I liked you
Not knowing how you would respond,
Or if you’d feel it too.
I put myself out on a limb, to see if you would care
I opened my mouth to speak the words,
But Lord, they just weren’t there.
How could I tell you that like a child
You make my feel inside.
I want to run into your arms, but
Instead I run and hide.
But somewhere deep inside my heart
I know that I should say
What’s on my heart, and mind, and soul
With each passing of the day.
I don’t quite know exactly when my palms began to sweat
Or when I’d look away from you, oh had our brown eyes met.
I know one day I sat up in a hard ass dorm room chair
I liked you then, you silly boy, with your long, black, wool-like hair
You are brown, and tall, and lanky, why yes this much is true
I must admit, you caught my eye, and made me notice you.
Your smile and laugh, boy, oh my God,
It brightens up my day.
I never knew that you, my friend, could make me feel this way.
And so from there, somewhere, one day, we soon became good friends.
I’ll tell you this, I never want this friendship with you to end.
So on that day I looked down at my Motorola phone
And read the message that you had a new love, I knew
I was alone.
I will not lie and say that I in no way felt betrayed
But quite the contrary, I felt a rage, and yes, quite dismayed.
“How could you?” I continued to ask myself, with each crumble
Of my heart
“Just throw my feelings out the door, not one piece, but the whole part?”
I did not know that you had had a great epiphany
That you should be with someone who you thought would never ever leave.
I did, however, know that you wanted some security.
But honestly look me in my eyes and tell me that you don’t care,
About me, the way that I for you, and that there is no bond we share.
I want you, to want to need me, but not to that extent.
It is not fair to house your feelings in a little tent.
And keep them all for my own gain, and fail to realize
That you are you, you like who you like, it’s not for
Me to decide.
It’s undeniable, a strong connection that I feel with you.
No other guy has broken my shell, made me think the way
You do.
It’s so emotional to think of if you were to ever go
Why I care for you so much, man I don’t even know.
It’s crazy how it makes me feel, just to hear your voice
How could I not fall hard for you, not like I had a choice.
We’ve had our share of ups and downs,
I’m sure there will be more.
But I am ready, and I hope you are,
For whatever God has in store.
--Candice S. White, May 23, 2008