And I Quote ": A dedication

Please listen to the song as you read the post, thanks!!

"Nothing worth having is easy to get." -Soror Ideal




I agree. Look at what all Cinderella had to go through to get her prince charming.


This post is dedicated to my friend Mel and other friends out there who feel like they can't win for losing. You give your heart and soul to a guy...everything short of your peace of mind, and the guy either does nothing with your gifts or throws them in the garbage can.

Without saying too much, I want you to know that like my soror said, "Nothing worth having is easy to get". As much as we want to hate the guys who take our hearts to the shredder on a daily, we can't. So we look for the silver lining under the grey cloud and remind ourselves, sometimes naiively that, "It ain't so bad". They are going to make us work for their love, something women rarely had to do in the generations that came before us. But don't give up. Nobody said this love thing would be easy...

Patience is a virtue. And we as young women have indeed been VERY patient, considerate, understanding, and uplifting to these guys who in one minute can see forever in our eyes and the next not see a future with us. I am learning this stuff as I constantly ride the rollercoaster of, no not love, but of self-discovery. I'm on a train, and he is the conductor. I am but a passenger, along for the ride. I can choose to get off whenever I please, but it ain't that simple, is it? Nope, because they read our thoughts, and know what we plan to do before we do it. We have to master the game that is being played, try to protect our hearts, but also let down our guards just enough to let him get through the door. See, I told you it wasn't simple. Well, there's hope.

One of my favorite Bible verses is 1 Corinthians 2:9. It reads thusly: But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

These words get me through EVERY let down I have, whether it be with grades or with guys. I believe in this verse because it gives me hope, it promises to me that God has a plan and wonderful things in store for me. The ones we love the most, may not love us in the same way. It is painful to think that these guys we like/love may not be THE ONE for us. Whoever God has for us, is OUT THERE...and though it's hard to think anyone could be better than our boos...that guy (if it's not them) IS better...much better!

I've endured many let-downs over the years, particularly in the relationship department. But when the last tear falls down my eye, after reading 1 Corin. 2:9 I know that I'm just one step closer to the unbelievable man God will place in my life to be my help mate. Yes I am anxious, but Patience is a virtue. Galatians 6:9 says: And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

Mel, our time is coming. I know sometimes we want to believe that the guy we care about SO MUCH is going to be the one, but we have to, even if in the back of our minds, accept the fact that this may not be so. We can only pray that the undeniable bonds we have formed with these young men will blossom and flourish into wonderful, long-lasting relationships.

If he is indeed doing his own thing, my advice would be to remain supportive of him. Continue to be his friend, and if nothing else kill him with kindness. One of two things may happen. 1) He will realize the error of his ways and come running back to your arms or 2) you will be so busy being nice and not caring that the guy of your dreams will appear, as if out of no where.

Call it a fairy-tale or wishful thinking, but then again, what is so wrong with fairy-tales? Some dreams do come true, and some stories do have happy endings. Only time will tell the truth, but something tells me that if we keep believing in ourselves, and that love is alive and out there, we will see our pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.



Remember: "Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard". It IS WRITTEN. Claim it for yourself, and believe in it. I am here for you!

ETA: I'd rather have him in friendship than nothing at all.

And I Quote..."

"Handle your business; don't let your business handle you!" --A smart person

This quote holds so much truth. Too often we are too busy worrying about what's going on in other people's lives to pay attention to our own. I've always had the attitude of what I do is MY business, especially if what I am doing is in no way affecting you. Friends take that title "Friend" to a whole other level and want to know ALL your business...I simply say, "MYOB, or get some business, please!"

As human beings, we are somewhat naturally inquisitive, and hell, that's okay. But PLEASE don't come up to me asking me what color bra/panties do I have on, or who I was on the phone with last night, or even who I'm seeing. You worried about me...and your draws ain't even clean!

I feel like, don't ask, don't tell --first and foremost. I do not voluntarily hand out information about my personal life unless I'm just itching for somebody to know. And even when someone asks something I'd rather not divulge, I usually go around the truth and leave out pertinent details. Shit, they do it to me! It's a viscious cycle that can be well avoided if people just mind their own business. Just because you are my "friend" doesn't mean you have to know every aching detail about my life. Shit...don't tell me that "secrets don't make friends..." Bitch, I got enough friends to worry about you being mad because you couldn't get in my business. See how STUPID that "secrets don't make friends" shit sounds? Really, and truly, ask me if I care...AND DON'T!!

Get the word NUN-YA in your vocabulary, people!!!! It may hurt a few feelings, but it keeps folks' noses out of places they shouldn't be. I mean, some people need to get a hobby for goodness sake!

I really do try to limit what I say to so-called friends and associates. Even my bestests are sometimes guilty of talking too much, as am I on occasions. But shit, for the most part I can trust them both with my inner most secrets, and dare I tell theirs.

But these folks I'm in school with now...

HA...

Only a few I trust with my business, and not necessarily because they won't tell, but because they don't judge or scrutinize my behavior. They offer solutions, advice, or encouraging words and leave it at that.

On the other hand, you have those who seem sincere when getting into your business, but turn right back around and discuss it with associates, aquaintances, classmates, parents, sisters, brothers, cousins.......etc.

Don't...and I mean DON'T EVEN! So yeah, as I get older I am learning more and more to guard my tongue. What I say not only has the potential to mess me up, but others as well. I began to learn this lesson at age 12, and every year I get better and better at it. I used to be flip-mouthed and would TELL ALL...but now, I choose my words wisely before I speak, or say nothing at all. The times that I have spoken prematurely have landed me DRAMA or an ass-whooping (not really...and never from a peer. The only hands to ever be laid on me were those of my parents), SO...

And don't be fooled. Being in a sorority does not mean telling your business to sorors...Don't discuss with them what you wouldn't discuss with an acquaintance if you're not comfortable with them like that. Oh and keep SORORITY business JUST THAT! Business, Business, Business, PEOPLE!

If you ain't got none, get some! I'm OUT!