I'm Going Through

I talk so much shit. And I can own up to it, and admit that. All it took was a 4hr-long conversation with "him" to make me put things into perspective and to stop being so dramatic about our situation. I came to the realization that I'm gonna have to go into this with no expectations. Like he said, "Just live". I need not try to plan every moment we may spend together. What for? Things very seldom go as planned. And I just want to enjoy the time we DO get...because it comes few and far between.

I am guilty for semi-planning, because I don't want to not have A CLUE of what's gonna go down, but I'm practically leaving it all up to him and chance, and I hope everything works out to the both of our likings.

I wish y'all could understand what this boy does to me. He gets inside my head, says what I'm thinking. I could be lying down, not saying a word, and he'll know exactly how my body is positioned and what I'm fixing to ask him next. He knows what I like without me having to tell him, and maybe to a fault. I never thought about it before, but what if he's able to read the minds of every girl he's ever talked to before me?

His bff is a female, so maybe he's use to it. He told me from jump that he's able to read MOST people extremely well. But there has to be more to him reading me, than just a knack of sorts...some quirky talent. I'd like to think that I'm somewhat more special than other girls in the past, scratch that...those hoes can't hold a candle to me. Some of our conversations get very philosophical, political, societally-charged that you'd think we were politicians from opposite sides of the spectrum.

I am 4 months his senior, but he is mentally and emotionally on a level that surpasses a lot of guys I know who are his age up to 4 years older...what's with that? He makes me laugh uncontrollably, we argue for the sake of it, which I think keeps things interesting. Nothing wrong with a little lively debate every now and then. We have a lot in common, he's genuine...and when I say this I mean, genuinely HIM. He claims to be no one but himself. He owns up to his Geminian ways, embraces them, and realizes that even he can not figure himself out at times. I can respect that.

He's considerate and kind (generally), but UBER sarcastic and caustic, which are parts of his sense of humor and personality I adore. If it were not for those traits, he would just be your typical shy guy. He has this look he gives to people when they get on his nerves. If you catch it, you will die from laughter.

I guess I could go on and on about him. Many may not understand. He's unique and different, yet so much like myself. One of the realest niggas I know, who doesn't deal in falsities (word?). He's laid back, well-manered, armed with street sensibilities, yet cultivated with intellect (sounds good...he'd blush). Am I SPRUNG??!

My only fear is that I don't/won't live up to his expectations of a partner/mate, if time ever leads us to the crossroads of friend to mate. Yes we are only friends. But...he gets me, in ways that no other has. I'm impressed. And for someone who has seen em all, that doesn't happen to easily anymore. I'm impressed with the whole of him, who is not perfect by any stretch, and has flaws like everyone else. And I accept him for who he is, even with his mood swings and wishy-washy, flightly behavior. Maybe tried to get him to be more considerate/ compassionate once or twice, but never went about trying to change what makes him, him--different.

I don't know...just trying to relieve some emotional/mental baggage. I got a thang for him, and he knows... If only I could get inside that thick ass skull and discover his true, uninhibited feelings about me.

You like me? DUH! But what about me? Right...if he can't answer this question after 7 months of intense "getting to know you" conversations, I'm going to righteously beat his ass the next time I see him, and then proceed to ween myself off of the thought of being with him (yeah right). But I honestly would be seriously hurt and dillusioned.

On second thought. I can answer this question on my own. Even though he dislikes people assuming, I can assume that he has put up with my dramaticism, pessimism, negativity, hopeless, whiny, bitter, back-track, past-dwelling, et al ways for this long because he sees the great potential in the woman I am SOON to become. The transformation had already started, late February, yes with a few back-slides. But I was recently awarded with encouraging words on toning down my dramatics. Was I thrilled?! HELL YES! I undoubtedly seek his approval where maybe I shouldn't, but I can't help it. He does the same to me, asking at times, "Is that bad", when he questions a judgement he's made. I dunno folks.

Ours is a complicated scenario, that will only grow in complexity as school lets back in and new, fresh faces arrive on our respective campuses. Will another girl come in with 10x the fire that I have, prettier, and smarter than me? Will I lapse back into lust for one of several of the guys I pined for months ago? Who knows, but God Himself. But it is my sincere prayer, that God gives this thing with he and I a chance. We've already been through some storms as it is. We are constantly testing each other's loyalty to the other...our friendship might as well be...*sigh* But I digress.

Like I said, in the weeks to come, as I prepare myself to see him face to face for the first time since April, I know that it is CRUCIAL to take things as they come and let the chips fall where they may. I just hope my emotions and dramaticism don't get in the way of an otherwise "JUMPIN" vay-cay in LA. Don't wanna ruin it for everyone else. CNB attitude will be activated July 1, 2008 at 12am....watch for it!!

There is ALWAYS some Truth in Hilarity

Take this comment, for instance, made by a person under the alias of Lo.uis Far.rak.han in reference to the R.Kelly acquittal situation:

R. Kelly could rape the cast of Golden Girls in Times Square and get away with it at this point. Nigga is untouchable. He'd probably dress them up as cheerleaders and pee in their diapers first, but rape is rape.
-Lo.uis Far.rak.han

Okay, I initially laughed my ass off at this statement. Because it is seemingly true in that R.Kelly has managed to make the general public believe he is some crazed sex pervert who can't get it from women within his own age range...Also, he seems to be impervious to serving time for his crazed sexual behavior. In fact, a lot of people revere him as a hero of sorts. SICKENING!

But then I looked at the quote again, and realized that R.Kelly would never rape the cast of Golden Girls because he does not like oldER women. What makes this alias think he'd want grannies? They do say, however, that once you reach elderly-hood, your ways revert back to child-like behavior. I can attest to this observation, because my great-aunt shits on herself and doesn't clean her ass, and my great-uncle would leave the house, wandering around the neighborhood. True, you can attribute these behaviors to mental disorders, and true my uncle suffers from Alzheimer's/Dimentia...but still... Older people get whiny and ornery, just like little kids. So maybe that's the correlation the alias was trying to make...

But anyawy, back to my observation. R. Kelly wouldn't touch these women with a 10 foot pole, because they are old enough to be his grandmother. He only seems to be interested in GIRLS aged 13-20....hmmm....so yeah. Funny quote, and yes, some truth exists in it...but then you have to look at the facts and realize this person was just tryna get a laugh.

He succeeded.


Disclaimer: I love the Golden Girls just as much as anybody, but that shit was funny...sorry. :-(

What's In a NAME?!

K y'all...There will be no WOD for a minute. I just don't feel like being extremely techincal about things at the moment. But I do have something else for you to take a look at.

What, pray-tell, is in a name? When you think about the name your parents gave you, do you view it as a blessing or a curse? Some names have a "white" ring to them. Which means that the race of this child is typically indistinguishable or the child is presumed to be white upon first seeing it. Then there are those of us who have not necessarily "black" names, but ethnic sounding ones that give our race/ethnicity away to folks who otherwise would not know a thing about us.

It has been said, that when naming a child, parents should look to the future and take into account: a) if the child will have problems saying and spelling his/her name by the age of 3 b) if the child's teachers will have problems with the same, particularly pronunciation c) if other kids will have issues with saying/spelling the child's name d) how the name will look on important, official documents e) how an 87 year old woman name Bonquisha will look to others.

Of course, it doesn't matter what she will look like to others, as there will be many adults like her. My name is pretty common, but not so much that it's Ashley, Jessica, Tiffany, Brittany or anything like that. But there are many girls out there with my name. My thing is, is there a 85 year old woman named Candice out there somewhere? If so...cool...

Parents should be mindful of trying to be so unique to the point that they screw their children over. Finding jobs in corporate America is already hard enough. Tack on race and gender (for females), and it's damn near impossible (at times). I'm not saying name your child something boring, generic, or typical. Your child has the right to be unique. All I'm saying is be classy and considerate with name choices.

According to a website, the following names are considered the BLACKEST names to give a child. Should you avoid them? Depends...

The 20 Blackest Boy Names
1. DeShawn
2. DeAndre
3. Marquis (know one)
4. Darnell (middle name of about 5 guys I know)
5. Terrell (know 2)
6. Malik (know one)
7. Trevon
8. Tyrone (know 2)
9. Willie (know 1)
10. Dominique
11. Demetrius (know plenty)
12. Reginald (cousin's name)
13. Jamal
14. Maurice (know 2)
15. Jalen (a lot of little black boys are getting this name)
16. Darius (know grown men named this)
17. Xavier (know 2)
18. Terrance (know too many)
19. Andre (same as 18)
20. Darryl (same)

The 20 Blackest Girl Names
1. Imani
2. Ebony (if I could count them all...)
3. Shanice (know 1, my MI)
4. Aaliyah
5. Precious (know 1)
6. Nia
7. Deja (know 1)
8. Diamond
9. Asia (my cousin, and a lil girl from church)
10. Aliyah
11. Jada
12. Tierra
13. Tiara (roommate)
14. Kiara
15. Jazmine (cousin)
16. Jasmin
17. Jazmin
18. Jasmine (too many)
19. Alexus (cousin)
20. Raven

Now, I'm not sure why several forms of the name "Jasmine" are considered different names, but whatever. I didn't make the list up. And none of them are terribly ghetto. Some just lack creativity, and are common to our group of people. We need to get more creative, y'all...but of course not go over board! I love baby names, and I have an ongoing, extensive list of them. I'd like to share some of my favorites...

1. Ari
2. Binae
3. Calandra
4. Devani
5. Elle
6. Faye
7. Giselle
8. Hannah (love this name)
9. Isis
10. Justice
11. Kaimana (Kah-ee-mah-na, hawaiian)
12. Lakera
13. Mahria
14. Nayana

1. Santino
2. Tariq
3. Dedrick (Dee-drick)
4. Yamin
5. Emery
6. Cassidy
7. Lonnie (one of my faves)

So yeah, unique and classy. I HAVE PLENTY MORE. But of course I can't give y'all the ones I many want to use for my 3 kids. So yeah...if you ever need help searching for a baby name, with meaning (which is something I specialize in), hit me up!!! 90% of the names I have own legit meanings and have histories behind them. Anyhoos...I'll HOLLA.

P.S. also check out BabyNamesWorld.com in the links section. It's very informative! :-)

A Small RECAP of the BET Awards 20-0H EIGHT...

So...um, fuckery was ACTUALLY kept to a minimum last night at the BET Awards which transpired in LA, California on last night. I tuned in sure that I would see phenomenal amounts of bull shit and mess, but I was somewhat pleasantly surprised when people seemed to (for the most part) know what they were doing. The observations that follow are MINE, and my opinions....(just a forewarning). I'd also like to note that I don't remember EVERY ASPECT OF THE SHOW...soo...

Starting from the tip-top (in no particular order)...

Ursh...what the fuck? Okay, his dancing was sub-par at best (a whole bunch of washed up MJ a la Scarecrow from the Wiz moves). His performance was just OK. He had voice-over music, which a lot of people think is NOT lip-syncing but to me it is!! That is one of my pet-peeves about artist. Whether I'm at the show in person or not, I want to see/hear LIVE singing. If you're out of breath that's your own fault for not doing your exercises and shit. So yeah, Usher gets a C- from me, performance wise. I honestly forgot about his performance til this morning when Alfredes from the Russ Parr Morning show reminded me...lol...do better next time, Mr. Raymond.

Ne-Yo. He did a good job, imo. His singing was good (no voice overs), and when he got ready to do complicated dance moves, he executed them w/o singing and did them WELL!! His dancing is MUCH better than Usher's these days. Hats off to the brother, for he is a true performer. To be noted that Ne-Yo received the first standing O for the night!

T-Pain. I am biased, because I love this ugly man. His stage presence is AWESOME and his vibe is contagious!!! That's all I have on him.

Marvin Sapp. Loved you!

RiRi (Rihanna). Girl, KUDOS!! That's what I'm talking bout. Fuck all that excessive dancing. That is not what people typically know you for, you SING! Thank you for standing still and still shutting it down with your voice! Your voice has gotten SOO much better over the years, and I love your music (was a fan from the start, but you started to piss me off, but you've redeemed yourself since then). Great Job, RiRi...

Alicia Keys. Lady, you are awesome. But you get like 50-11 COOL POINTS for bringing out my 2 FAVORITE girl groups of all time, SWV and TLC. I LOVED THAT. My bestest CoCo and I were texting each other like, "OMG!". Oh, and wow...last I heard EnVogue had a new member, but looks like Lucy Pearl (that's all I know her by) decided to come back for a reunion type situation. Cool Beans. Alicia, thanks Soror!

Keyshia Cole. I'm disappointed, and I agree with others that Lil' Kim pretty much saved you, and that's really sad and not saying much. You can do better, and should have kept that wack dancing to a MINIMUM!! THANKS!

Chris Brown. I love your funky draws!! Great singing, as always. For you to be one of the younger dudes in the game, you have a lot of what I like...*wink*. But no, you sing live WELL, and you can dance your pants off. Bringing CiCi out (who is the QUEEN of dance in MY DAY, sorry Janet) was a GREAT touch! Loved your performance buddy.

DJ Khaled and nim. Thanks for bringing Luda and Big Boy out, them my babies!!

Al Green Tribute:
Jill. Love you girl, and congrats on the engagement
Anthony Hamilton. I love love love you! You remind me alot of mine when it comes to singing.
MAXWELL. Nigga, where have you been with your flyy self!? Great job brother. Been missin you out here!

AL GREEN. Honored with the Lifetime Achievement Award, you are truly deserving!! You'll never know how much you have influenced the music world. I love your music, always have (since a youngin) always will. I loved your energy on stage. You showed that even though you are a minister, you haven't forgotten where you've come from, and that you made a HUGE impact on us with your R&B soul music. That is nothing to be ashamed of, and I'm so happy you embraced that and gave us a spectac performance!!

Wayne. Not too much I can say other than, you did pretty good. I agree with Fredes or Russ when they said your performance was anti-climatic. I was expecting something more, but whatever. Still love ya. A Millie was my fave part!

Oh...Nelly and Jeezy. I forgot about y'all...sorry...uhh...forgettable performances at best :-(. Nelly...Fergie is NOT a good look, holmes. That is ALL...Jeezy, you need more energy on stage. I got bored watching you and obviously forgot you did anything. DO BETTER!

General Comments on the show:

DL. You still suck ass. And I can't believe you called Marvin Sapp, Warren. What the hell were you thinking about when you were introducing him?

Quincy. I love you! Recipient of the Humanitarian Award

Niecey Nash. We don't need to adopt white kids. We need to adopt our own, because that's what makes up majority of the system. Don't do me!

Solange and all them that came out (D. Banner, Brandon T. Jackson, CASSIE , Souljah Boy ). Y'all look like a reject dance crew from America's Next Best Dance Crew. Do better, all of yas!

Cuba Gooding Jr. Baby, were you high?
Nia. I love you!
Morris. UGH!

Gabrielle U. UUUGHHH!
Ashanti. BANANAS!!!
Terrence Howard. I secretly think you are hot and sexy and I looooove you. Your swagger, though at times fruitacular, is VERY intriguing. That Spanish guitar mess you did was enough to make me...
Lauren London. You go girl!!
J. Hud. STOP, PLEASE
L.L. Ummm...relevance? Please go RETIRE FOR GOOD!

Kanye. You're a good dude, man.
Bun B. I POP IT FOR PIMP!!!!
Ummm...Keyshia Cole's folks . DO BETTER!!! Y'all were almost there!

Diddy's momfukin ass. GO A--W---A----Y!!!!

Anybody else that I forgot, Sorry...they were forgettable.

Oh and Debs Lee. No more yellow for you, boo!

Over all, the show was decent. I don't think I'll watch it again when it comes on on Thursday. I have better things to do with my life.

I am, however, excited about the new season of Baldwin Hills. How long has it been?? A year almost? I've missed my babies (Sal and MoMo, but looks like Sal gots a baby mama :-( ). Anyway, there is no more Garnette as far as I can see...GOOD!!! Season Premier is July 8th!! If you are interested, check it out. It is one of the only shows I watch BET for.

I'll probably do a post about BH as the premier approaches. You can find videos and photos of the Awards show here and here

I think that about sums it up for my recap. For all things BET Awards show 2008, just hit up BET.com right here. See y'all lata!!

Atlanta Greek Picnic! WOOOOOW

LOL, so...as I stated a while ago, I'm a newbie to the Greek Scene (AKA, SP '08). I felt like attending the Atlanta Greek Picnic would be my first chance to associate and familiarize myself with what it's all about, what it means (socially, of course) to be a member of a BGLO.

I kind of gave updates on the progress of planning, because initially, we (my chapter) were supposed to venture to Atlanta together. That didn't pan out for more than a few reasons. I ended up going with my front/friend since Freshman year, REESE, my aunt who is a soror, my aunt Benita who is a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. and my mom who is a GDI (lol). We stayed with my aunt Benita's best friend Arnita who is also a soror of mine. Might I say that the house is not a house at all, but a MANSION!! Nita is an oooold friend of the family, so she made us feel right at home.

I must say that I had a blast! One thing about me, is I don't carry unecessary hate for members of other BGLOs. I have friends and associates in EVERY organization. Though many came out with the spirit of competition and hate, I just felt good being around so many different people. I FELT THE UNITY!!!

Reese and I arrived just in time to join the circle and sing the hymn with sorors, after which we were invited to feast on food sorors from other chapters (probably the host chapter, Morris Brown) had to offer. The spirit of sisterhood was definitely present. Anytime you make an effort to be sisterly to someone, ESPECIALLY your soror, that effort is usually gratified in some kind of way. But yeah...

There was a stroll-off. Phrat were making snow cones (HA!). Vendors were there in full effect. The fuckery (love this word, courtesy of the lovely Fresh, see C+D ) was minimal as far as I could tell. You already know the Ques showed up and showed out. I was told by my aunts and mom that one Que had his army fatigues ALL the way down, showing off his freshly branded ass (supposedly he was drunk, but this seems like typical behavior for a Que). Ma said you could see the front of him as well.

But you know what, I love Ques. I always said that I could see myself dating one. Most of them have awesome, down-to-earth personalities, and are really fun to chill with. Out of all the Frats, I think they keep it REAL the most...sometimes too real...LOL

After the picnic, Reese and I went to this stepshow over at Morehouse. Hardly any of the thousands that attended the picnic showed up at the show. That was to be expected, however, since this was the first year for this "Greek Unity" Stepshow. We sat with sorors from Texas and North Carolina, and had a ball, regardless of how many people were there. The Deltas took the prize, winning first place. Honorable mention goes to the Kappas that STEPPED...They get MAAAAD respect from me, because that is the first time I had ever seen Kappas actually STEP, and tho I'm new to the Greek Game, I've still been exposed to certain aspects, such as stepshows and probates. All I came say is DAMN! They did an awesome job. I'm going to put that footage up soon, hopefully!

So yeah, that pretty much sums up my weekend in Atlanta. It wasn't as WILD as it could have been, but I'm not WILD like that anyway. In the years to come, it will get better for me, I know. I didn't want to over do it my first time out. Just wanted to get my feet wet, and I must say that I accomplished that goal!! Shouts out to Iota Nu APhiA, Gamma Theta Zetas, Kappa Kappa (GUCCI), and Xi Mu SGRho!!!! UAB represented right!!!

Pics (all I took was video at the stepshow, I'll try to get that up ASAP):

** Have you ever been to the Atlanta Greek Picnic? If so, what were your experiences (Fung'ke, I'm callin you out, lady, lol)?

Feeling Much Better Today

Yes, I am in a much better mental state today than I was yesterday. I guess I was just super tired and my body was exhausted. In any event, I've failed you guys. I pride myself on usually being able to keep my promises and do what I say I'm going to, but when I got home yesterday, I crashed out and stayed asleep til 9pm. I was awakened by a phone call from Mel. I managed to upload pictures from the picnic, so they'll be up within the next two hours. Today should be fairly slow around work (as it was yesterday).

The Word of the Day (I'm going to go ahead and tell ya) is LEAN......I'll explain later.

Oh, and I want to apologize for not puting up videos, but uhhh....Imma do better *looks around nervously*

Hey y'all...

As I've been telling y'all since the beginning of the month, today is LET IT GO DAY (check the sidebar for Holiday Authenticity).

Whatever stress or worries you are carrying with you right now, today is the day to let some if not ALL of it go, and reclaim some control over the everyday happenings of your life. I'm just coming off of a long, yet enjoyable weekend, so I'm really tired. It's my goal to post Keyshia's video for Let It Go in this entry, so maybe if you check back after 5pm, it'll be up. But yeah...

I added music to the blog, hope you enjoy it! I think it's a nice little touch. Anyhoo, I should be back later on with a NEW WORD OF THE DAY post...I found some interesting stuff out Friday before I got off of work. I'll share it with you all later. Right now, I'm mentally exhausted, and it hurts to keep my eyes open.

Other stuff coming up soon:
--Recap and pics of the Greek Picnic
--Possible video footage of the Greek Picnic
--My random rantings :-)

So...good morning, and LET THAT SHIT GO! ;-)

Busy, Busy Day...

In order for me to potentially get out of here before 3pm, I have to work my ass off this morning, so this will probably be my only post for the day. Whatever...

The Zetas (Gamma Theta) at my school just had a line come out last night. My homegirl is SP '07, so I know she's happy to be bringing some more girls in especially with her being graduated and all. So congrats Zeta Neos!!!

Uhh...what else? I venture off to Atlanta this evening (hopefully) to partake in the annual Greek Picnic. I hope everything goes well...PLEASE JESUS!

Anyhoo...uhhh...yeah, so that's all. And I promised y'all some Nala West! I'm going to give y'all some Nala! I promise you will love her wittisisms (not a word) as much I do. So...farewell, dears. I'll catch you on Monday (which is LET IT GO DAY!!! WOOOOOOO).

Tooth Ache

Something seems to be wrong with one of my back teeth. There is this sharp, cold feeling everytime I chew something corse in the back of my mouth. It doesn't really hurt, it's just annoying. I can't even enjoy these chocolate chip cookies for my tooth aching.

I feel that same cold, sharp feeling in my heart about...well...In my mind, I tell myself that everything will be okay, I try to look to the future for a ray of hope, yet find myself missing the hell out of him. I need more lemon heads. Wait a minute...

A thought just occurred. Do I miss him, or the thought of being WITH him? How can I miss something or someONE I never had? But I HAVE HAD thoughts of being with him, and now those same ideals are being clouded and shut down by the immenent thoughts of being withOUT him.

Patience is indeed a virtue. I tend to have to wait a long time for things I want badly, so this patience thing is nothing new. In fact, this was my MAIN mantra while I was going through intake with AKA. Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue. That's what I kept telling myself and others. Patience. It was written on my wall, and I believed in it. I needed that belief, that hope that if I waited, was patient and endured, I would weather the storm and come out victorious in my pursuit.

So in a moment of self-realization, isn't this the same thing? Shouldn't I have the patience, and maybe the maturity to say, "okay" and let him go...for good? He may or may not be THE ONE for me, and I have to come to terms with that. I am in love with the THOUGHT of being in love with him. But it has become painstakingly obvious over the course of over half a year that love with him may not be in my forecast after all. It's so hard to accept this, and I think that is what hurts the most. I have to learn how to just be his FRIEND ONLY again.

He doesn't know this, but I liked him maybe the second time I hung out around him. The initial meeting was a blur, and my sights were set else-where, but not long after did my attentions drift toward him... ...I want the feeling of wanting him to GO AWAY...please?



I feel so desolate and unfulfilled. Selfishly I ask, "When will it be my turn?" I shouldn't be going out looking for love. It should just come to me, right? Will it never come because I chose to pursue it? I'm afraid of being left alone forever. Destined to smile faintly in the faces of friends as they embark on journeys of love and happiness, destined to watch them dance away in the moon light, as I...wringing my hands, look up and wonder when?

I'm afraid that when love comes, I won't know what to do with it. And that thought is actually quite funny to me at the moment *laughs*. See, I have all the answers for him right now, but...if I were truly in love, would I have words at all? Mama says I won't know what to do with myself. I mean, I'm soooo sure now, but when it really happens, will I go into panic mode? Probably...

My heart is aching, and my mind is filled with turmoil...I'm not in love...so why? Can the thought of love really do this much damage?! I would imagine so...*looks at self*. In time, love will find its way into my heart..."will I be ready" is the question.

DAMNIT!!!

In an effort to brighten stuff up around this piece, I failed to save important aspects of my blog...if you look around, practically all of my side bar info is GONE...so please bare with me while I get shit straight. I am in the process of getting things back in order. Maybe this is the revamp I needed. If I can only remember all of my favorite blogs/ links. SHIT!!!!

Anyway, keep hope alive while I try to find all my shit. Please and Thanks.

ETA: Okay, so I got myself back together, some what...but ummm...I still feel like something is missing. I will try to post some Youtube stuff tonight. I need to introduce y'all to my girl Nala West! Oh, and I got a few vids to check out, myself.

Now please excuse me while I make my blog rounds again...

Change of Scenery...

I'm debating on changing the look of STG (new template/banners). I'm becoming quite annoyed with this "dark" vibe which is doing nothing to get me out of this "love slump" I'm experiencing. I wanna Youtube-It Up on here...find a way to add audio, so y'all can listen to "All that Money" while y'all browse/read. I'm trying to convince Mel to start the LGC Blog with me...she has many a story to tell, as do I...

Anyhoo, if anyone knows how to do the things bolded above, please get at me ASAP...I might just have to figure it out on my own. My Youtubing will have to be done at the house, as access to the site is restricted at work.

In looking at the time piece, I have an hour left here at the office. READY TO GO! It's 40 cent wing night at Buffalo Wild Wings. I hate wings, but I'm going just to go. Take my mind off of...well yeah.

Tomorrow I'll be trying out a variety of looks. Don't let the disarray deter you, however. In fact, pay no mind to it...*sigh* Change...is needed...

Woke Up on the Early Side of the bed this morning

Good Day...

Ummm...so in essence I started my day around 3:22am...I was awakened by horrific cramps in my lower abdomen, so I decided to roll over and get some medicine. Opened my creakin ass door, went to the kitchen, fixed me a glass of water, took my pill, and got back in the bed.

The sleep was not good, and 2.5 hours later, the alarm went off, and here I am now, at work...bored, and ready to go home and get in the bed. I feel like crap emotionally and mentally. Seems like all of my goals are getting pushed to the side. It's going to take everything in me not to punch somebody in the face today. But anywayz...

Most of my friends know I'm a music JUNKIE! I like all kinds, but am particularly partial to Hip Hop, Rap, and R&B. When hanging with my hood friends this past weekend, I picked up quite a few tasty songs. We were in one of the various "Courts" prn "Cote" in my city, just chilling outside, gunshots and all...the car was still blasting music from the speakers.

I hear this catchy ass tune and ask my friend, "Who song is this?" "Young Dro", she answered me. Since when did Dro have new music? It's a good chance this song is old as hell, but I doubt it, cuz hood niggas stay on top of the Rap music scene.

Anyhoo...I'm making a post about that soon, hope to find some audio so I can share it with the world.

And maybe 2 wks ago, when coming home from the movies with my cousin and her boyfriend, I heard the song, "We some Playaz" by Crime Mobb. Now mind you this song is a year and some change old, but I had never heard it. I'm a CM fan, actually BOUGHT their first album, but I didn't figure it was that serious this time around. Hate I missed out on this song then tho. It's a catchy ass tune and I LOVE Lil J! That boy can rap, and his swagger exudes and permeates the beat of the record. When he starts the song with, "Lil nigga I got them hands .Got damnit I fear no man"...I get chills every time...

But yeah, whatever. Other cute songs are:

Girlfriend/Boyfriend -C-Side ft. Keyshia Cole
Booty Music- Deep Side ft. T-Pain
Dump Truck- Kinfolk Thugs
Louis Bag- Blood Raw ft. Jeezy
and MY SHIT "All that Money"- Young Dro...

Handle it.

FUCK Summer Lovin

That's RIGHT! I said it! Fuck summer love. I'm so over it. I've basically come to the realization that I'm not going to get what I want out of that man-boy because he isn't ready. I can't force someone to be in a relationship no matter how much he likes me or I like him. If distance is an issue now, it will be an issue later. And maybe mama is right. Maybe he is PISSED that I left Chell on the phone for so long. That always happens and not too long after that, my "situation" with the guy falls apart. I figure that we will just always be good friends or something. But he said the same thing last night that he said 6 months ago, "I know you, but I don't know you"... REALLY NOW? But I guess he's right, in a sense.

And he gave the hypothesis that it'd be different if we'd grown up together and he KNEW me...the distance thing wouldn't matter much. But then he says he doesn't not trust me, or himself...so...then...contradiction perhaps? Maybe...

He's afraid of taking chances...that's what I chalk it up as, but I do admit that we wouldn't have much of a relationship. DISTANCE is the BIG TICKET issue here, y'all just don't understand. So I'm done trying to fight it. We're 4 hours apart at worst and 1.5 hours at best...talk about huge sacrifices for someone you don't know.

He says I shouldn't sit around waiting on him (cuz he knows he's not gonna tell me what I want to hear any time soon, plus he probably is already courting another girl). I should talk to other dudes or whatever. (But I fear there's not another quite like him out there...)

Mom says I should talk to other guys, that I may in fact miss out on a wonderful opportunity waiting on him. JLavada said he's probably talking to someone else. Whatever, I'm through trying.

6 months, and it got me absolutely no where...well I can't say that completely. I gained a unique friendship with a unique guy who is very intelligent, insightful, charming, and funny. Will he ever be mine? Who knows?

So I end this post with a quote from DMX

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was".

For him to be so crazy, he sure makes a lot of sense at times. Poetic at best, ey? Well, I'm out...

P.S. Good morning...

Damn, y'all I'm sorry, but...

Bad news is abounding today. While Scumbucket Robert Kelly gets acquitted for shit that he actually did, Tim Russert, host of NBC's Meet The Press died TODAY.

Click the Link for the story. This is so sad, because I liked this dude man. I didn't watch his show fa real, but he seemed like a fair kinda guy when it came to interviewing major political leaders, Democratic and Republican alike. Me and my dad were just talking about how cool duke was, how he seemed to be rooting for Obama and stuff (even if secretly, I sensed it). Regardless of where he stood on political views, it is always sad to see a TV personality of his caliber die.

My condolences go to his family, friends, and co-workers. This is crazy. Jesus is on his way y'all...we gotta get it together. What a Friday the 13th this is turning out to be. I think I AM staying in tonight. SHEESH!!!

R.I.P. Man...

Uhhh....

I was RIGHTEOUSLY not going to post anymore today until I recently found out via Funky Black Chick's blog (check my favorite blogs list) that mother fuccin Robert Kelly has been found NOT guilty on ALL charges brought up against him. Click this link for the story.



^^^ Your clothes and your face should be looking like this right now....Motherfucker, I swear! Look, I don't claim to be perfect, and please excuse my foul language everybody, but this shit boils my blood! I am 38 HOT right now! Fuck that!

And I know with my ranting this is no time to bring up God, but may He have mercy on your shitty soul! God is NOT gonna keep allowing you to make these same foul mistakes. Something is SERIOUSLY wrong with you, and you need HELP! Stop denying your problem. It is only a matter of time before you end up in a wooden box instead of a metal cell. God doesn't keep giving people like you chance after chance after chance. I have seen it happen before. People fuck up numerous times and God says, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and cuts their life SHORT.

You are not immune to this happening. I am so pissed, because the world should be missing something right now. Another child molestor should have been behind bars, and the world would be a better place for it. And it's a shame too, cuz you are so talented. But you are WASTED TALENT by far! I don't usually wish harm on people, and I guess I'll refrain, but man....GET IT TOGETHER, and may God have mercy on you at the cross roads.

And I'm out!

Vocab Lesson 1--New Word of the Day--HIPSTER

What is a hipster? Browsing around on various blogs, I have come across the word "Hipster" more than a few times. Apparently this word has been around for a while...so why am I just now being exposed to it? Well today, I finally got fed up with not knowing exactly what one is, so I looked it up on Urbandictionary.com and found several useful (and quite amusing) definitions of the term being used to refer to a person or group of people....

This takes me back to December 2007 when I taught my aunt's 2nd graders the word "OBLITERATE". I wrote it on the black board, along with my own derived definition, the word meaning "to destroy". Some of the kids actually remembered the word the next day, and asked for a new word to learn. I love kids that are not my family. They are so absorbant to knowledge, and it really gives me a feeling of warmth. Now I see how teachers get attached to other people's children, but can barely stand or take care of their own. It's a scary thought, but more of a reality than not...anyhoo...back to the topic at hand...what is a hipster?


1) Hipster
Listens to bands that you have never heard of. Has hairstyle that can only be described as "complicated." (Most likely achieved by a minimum of one week not washing it.) Probably tattooed. Maybe gay. Definitely cooler than you. Reads Black Book, Nylon, and the Styles section of the New York Times. Drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon. Often. Complains. Always denies being a hipster. Hates the word. Probably living off parents money - and spends a great deal of it to look like they don't have any. Has friends and/or self cut hair. Dyes it frequently (black, white-blonde, etc. and until scalp bleeds). Has a closet full of clothing but usually wears same three things OVER AND OVER (most likely very tight black pants, scarf, and ironic tee-shirt). Chips off nail polish artfully after $50 manicure. Sleeps with everyone and talks about it at great volume in crowded coffee shops. Addicted to coffee, cigarettes (Parliaments, Kamel Reds, Lucky Strikes, etc.), and possibly cocaine. Claims to be in a band. Rehearsals consist of choosing outfits for next show and drinking PBR. Always on the list. Majors or majored in art, writing, or queer studies. Name-drops. May go by "Penny Lane," "Eleanor Rigby," etc. when drunk. On PBR. Which is usually.

Used in a sentence: I am not a fucking hipster! (sweeps bangs to side dramatically and takes a swig of PBR)

5) Hipster
Someone who thinks that they are being "special" and "unique" for liking some underground bullshit no one else cares about. And they pointlessly look down on people who don't know anything about indie culture, because that's the only thing they know anything about. They're quick to call the rest of the world conformists when in reality, they are the ones conforming by partaking in a "too cool for mainstream so i am going to reject it by looking and acting like a grungy asshole" way of life only to seem uber-fashionable. They just end up looking like idiots.

Used in a dialogue:
1) Hipster: I won't drink at starbucks, it's too corporate.

2)Non-Hipster: I want a Louis Vitton purse because they are cool

Hipster: You're such a conformist, haveing a Louis Vitton purse is so unoriginal. I like my purse I found in the gutter for $4 dollars.

Non-hipster: but it's fugly Hipster: yah, but no one else has it. It's completely unique.

Non-hipster: that bum over there has something pretty similar though.

Hipster: You're ignorant because you can't see the real beauty in life. I don't have time for this, I'm gonna go to my cave of an apartment and listen to some indie rock you've probably never heard of....

Non hipster: You need to see a therapist

Hipster: I am my own therapist.

6) Hipster
\hip-stur\n. One who possesses tastes, social attitudes, and opinions deemed cool by the cool. (Note: it is no longer recommended that one use the term "cool"; a Hipster would instead say "deck.") The Hipster walks among the masses in daily life but is not a part of them and shuns or reduces to kitsch anything held dear by the mainstream. A Hipster ideally possesses no more than 2% body fat.

-The Hipster Handbook, Robert Lanham
Typically a Hipster can be identified by vintage or thrift-store bougt clothing, a taste for obscure or underground music, a penchant for irony and an elitist attitude.

Me using hipster in a sentence (to show my comprehension of the meaning of this word): That hipster looks dusty as hell...oh wait! That's...Michael...dang... (lol...pre-ghetto days of a dude I know)

And this my friends, concludes today's vocab lesson! Take the time to either a) use this word in a sentence during normal, everyday conversations b) spot a hipster on your own... I think I can think of a few people right off the top of my head.

Well...

And you better enjoy it, cuz it's the ONLY ONE in the year 20-OH EIGHT! I really want to go see The Happening, but I don't know if monetary funds will permit that...I hope no real mischief occurs in my city tonight...got enough problems in the GUMP as it is.

In other news, can someone explain to me the difference between an "understanding" and a "relationship"? They are MOST definitely not the same thing in my opinion, but "he" thinks so...

Any discourse on the matter would be greatly appreciated. Anyhoo...today...this weekend...a DRAG! Pray that I make it through with my mind in tact. I'm mentally exhausted, on mental overload. Today, I honestly just want to stay at home, put on some Erykah and Kindred Soul and RELAX! But I told some friends I would hang out tonight...MISTAKE! And if I don't chill this weekend...when will I be able to? That picnic is next week...*sigh* Jesus be a mediator!

But yeah, hoping I have more to say as the day goes on, but that may not come into fruition, I'm just ready to go home...but not to those dirty dishes. *SIGH*

Lord, get me through the day!

Good Morning. Got Spice?!

If so, sprinkle a lil of that over my way. I need it desprately!

This post should tell you that I'm bored as ALL HELL! Work is dull and boring...all I do is file papers and archive old files all day. Then when it's time for lunch I sit at my desk, pull out my sandwich and read blogs. Don't get me wrong, I'm NOT complaining, I'm just saying.

I think someone needs to throw a sex-toy party. I've been dying to get to one since I was 18...and I'm 20 now, so I think I'm 2 years over due. My aunt who would normally take me is now booed up with a fellow greek. Shouts out to the brothers of OMEGA PSI PHI Fraternity, Inc.

Anyhoo...I suppose tomorrow I will meet up with some old friends and catch up with their boring average lives, then I will meet up with another friend and hopefully go look for apple green dresses...BORING....this shit depresses me and makes me want to eat :-(

July should be a better month all together, or at least I'm praying for it to be that way. If I can just get past all this drama with the greek picnic, I will be good to go. Drama makes my nerves super bad. I don't handle it well...In fact, I tend to shut down on hoes, cuz I refuse to take part in childish bull shit, when I am now an adult.

June is really suckish, I tell ya. I don't be having nothin to say to y'all in the mornings, life is BLAH...I need fun and excitement! Hard when you ain't got no funds tho...:-( Oh well...maybe I'll come back later with a new vigor, but I doubt it.

My mind is consumed with random, unecessary thoughts. Whatever!

Cookies and Juice

Is this a fuccin day care or something? When I get off of work, I don't wanna come home to no damn shortbread cookies and sunny D. We carpooling, on the way home, I notice you sippin out a Subway cup, but when I ask you to get something to eat FOR DINNER (since I haven't eaten in 5+ hrs) you tell me, "We'll see". The night ends with you cooking some rice and viennas and telling us (me and my lil brother) to have at it...at damn near 10 o'clock at night...

ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Is this how my summer is going to go? Don't even go there about how I should or need to spend my money. While I agree that one's earnings should be spent and allocated in a fashion that the earner sees fit, If you got kids in your home, or better yet, your OFFSPRING, --your children-- regardless of if I'm 20 years old or not, I expect you to at LEAST go to the grocery store. Maybe I give off the impression that i want to eat fast food every night, but that is totally NOT EVEN the case!

Instead of buying cookies and juice, dad, and putting $12 in her gas guzzling truck, you could have bought a bag of salad greens, some cheese, dressing, and some chicken and we could have made a NICE salad. You could have bought some beef and buns, and we could have fried up some burgers...but naw...who are you doing a favor for? Not me!!! I didn't ask for cookies and juice, and neither did Isaac.

You buy it, thinking it will appease us somehow, quell our hunger...YOU'RE WRONG! It does nothing but ignite our appetites even more. And don't buy cans of pringles and think they are gonna last a life-time. CHILE, BOO! Do you know how GOOD pringles taste? Plus, like we say every evening, WE BE HUNGRY! And while y'all thinking I'm the one eating up everything, you should check your growing boy!!!

He's the one sneaking pringles off to his room in the early morning hours, cookies and juice too!

I need for y'all to take a little more responsibility in your purchases. One complains all the time that the other spends too much money. I know what she is doing with it, it's obvious...but you won't put the necessary restraints on her to make her stop. WHY DID YOU PUT GAS IN HER TANK if you were just going to the Dollar Store which is UP THE STREET?!?! You lose your right to complain when you put $ in her tank and buy cookies and juice. You've only eaten 5, huh? Yeah right, but whatever. Those cookies are almost gone, and trust, it wasn't I who nearly demolished them....*looks over at Isaac*

And one is over here complaining that he don't spend ENOUGH money, and that we (the kids) don't WANT to spend our OWN money....well...lady...why SHOULD WE???? You are the parent, first and foremost. And we are not asking you for new clothes, shoes, or toys...(or at least, I'm not). All I ask for is basic SUSTENANCE, some damn nourishment, and not even all the time! Hell, I've gotten used to not eating around that damn house! But I get fussed at because I'm not willing to spend MY money on something I shouldn't have to pay for...GO TO FOOD WORLD, DAMN IT! I never asked you to go to Wendy's or McDonalds...go to FOOD WORLD, which is LITERALLY walking distance from the house, if you are worried about wasting gas!

But whatever, I digress. You spend your money as you please, but it amazes me, that you pay minimal bills in the house, don't by food, yet manage to buy new clothes and shoes when you get ready, or buy that bottle of whatever to sip on for the week/weekend. GET OFF. I see how it is tho. Don't fix your mouth to question me about my spending habits, then, sweety! I have self-restraint and discipline, and I know that me being able to do what I need to do at the close of this week is more important than buying a bag of potato chips...for 50 cents...child, please...

I can't win for losing, and I half-way don't blame my daddy for acting the way he does, MOST of the time...

The 16th will be the dawn of a new day, tho baby. My money will not get frivously thrown to the wind, as in previous years. I have a plan, and I plan on enforcing it! This past check, I could play around with, but honestly, no more room or time for that...

Anyway, I think this about does it for this rant. I just sighed, which is a sign that I'm pretty much over it. Boy, I tell ya, I love writing.

But if I get home and see more cookies and sunny D...I'm going the hell off!!!! Somebody gone get they 48 year old ass told! And that's love.

Oh and good morning.

GOOD MORNING!!!

But is it really? I suppose it is, because I am alive and enclosed in my RIGHT mind, but still. I detest Mondays. I did not want to get out of bed this morning...My alarm clock goes off at 6am...tell me why I picked it up and pushed the time back to 6:15 so I could get a lil more shut eye. It's crazy cuz I went to bed at 11ish... But whatever. I'm dreading this week to be honest. Money will be flying out my hand pretty much ALL WEEK!!! Not looking forward to that, but whatever...*LE SIGH...* I only have like $81 to my name right now, and I still have a Greek Picnic outfit to buy, a best friend with a birthday, and then all these people trying to hang out and spend money on the weekend. Won't be able!! Thank God I get paid this coming Monday!! "He will steeeeep in Oooon tiiiiiiiiiime" --UAB GC.

But yeah, here's a new slideshow I made...enjoy that while I try to get myself together. Please and thank you.

It's FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!

Just want to wish you all a HAPPY FRIDAY!!! Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my SORORS/SANDS/LSs Amanda A. and Kristina S. Hope y'all have a splendid day, ladies! Love y'all... Hope I can come with the fury later on, but for now, I'm just in work/chill mode. TOODLES!!!

And I Quote..."

"Handle your business; don't let your business handle you!" --A smart person

This quote holds so much truth. Too often we are too busy worrying about what's going on in other people's lives to pay attention to our own. I've always had the attitude of what I do is MY business, especially if what I am doing is in no way affecting you. Friends take that title "Friend" to a whole other level and want to know ALL your business...I simply say, "MYOB, or get some business, please!"

As human beings, we are somewhat naturally inquisitive, and hell, that's okay. But PLEASE don't come up to me asking me what color bra/panties do I have on, or who I was on the phone with last night, or even who I'm seeing. You worried about me...and your draws ain't even clean!

I feel like, don't ask, don't tell --first and foremost. I do not voluntarily hand out information about my personal life unless I'm just itching for somebody to know. And even when someone asks something I'd rather not divulge, I usually go around the truth and leave out pertinent details. Shit, they do it to me! It's a viscious cycle that can be well avoided if people just mind their own business. Just because you are my "friend" doesn't mean you have to know every aching detail about my life. Shit...don't tell me that "secrets don't make friends..." Bitch, I got enough friends to worry about you being mad because you couldn't get in my business. See how STUPID that "secrets don't make friends" shit sounds? Really, and truly, ask me if I care...AND DON'T!!

Get the word NUN-YA in your vocabulary, people!!!! It may hurt a few feelings, but it keeps folks' noses out of places they shouldn't be. I mean, some people need to get a hobby for goodness sake!

I really do try to limit what I say to so-called friends and associates. Even my bestests are sometimes guilty of talking too much, as am I on occasions. But shit, for the most part I can trust them both with my inner most secrets, and dare I tell theirs.

But these folks I'm in school with now...

HA...

Only a few I trust with my business, and not necessarily because they won't tell, but because they don't judge or scrutinize my behavior. They offer solutions, advice, or encouraging words and leave it at that.

On the other hand, you have those who seem sincere when getting into your business, but turn right back around and discuss it with associates, aquaintances, classmates, parents, sisters, brothers, cousins.......etc.

Don't...and I mean DON'T EVEN! So yeah, as I get older I am learning more and more to guard my tongue. What I say not only has the potential to mess me up, but others as well. I began to learn this lesson at age 12, and every year I get better and better at it. I used to be flip-mouthed and would TELL ALL...but now, I choose my words wisely before I speak, or say nothing at all. The times that I have spoken prematurely have landed me DRAMA or an ass-whooping (not really...and never from a peer. The only hands to ever be laid on me were those of my parents), SO...

And don't be fooled. Being in a sorority does not mean telling your business to sorors...Don't discuss with them what you wouldn't discuss with an acquaintance if you're not comfortable with them like that. Oh and keep SORORITY business JUST THAT! Business, Business, Business, PEOPLE!

If you ain't got none, get some! I'm OUT!

OH GOD, I'm SOOOO HAPPY!!!

So, I talked to my hunny last night! Was I glad? HELL YEAH!!! He doesn't know how much I've missed talkin to him, but things happen--shit comes up that we often can not forsee or do anything about. First of all, I was soo nervous about calling because it was the house phone. From experience, I do not like calling guys on their house phones when they live with parents. That shit is embarrassing.

You know how some mamas can be...just plain ole MEAN!! But I conquered my fears and dialed his number. He answered, and I immediately let out a sigh of relief. He was like, "Long time, no hear from"...and I honestly thought, "Jigga, it ain't MY FAULT!!!" And he knows it. Just tryna be messy, lol. It's all good tho. "I [like] me some him!" YES I DO! We talked for an hour and then he had to go. He had a death in the family that he is dealing with so I might not get to talk to him the rest of the week if I don't call today...hmmm...he could always call me tho.

But he prolly won't.

Anyhoo...I just got done doing some research on My 20 Pearls, and I am sooo sooo soo inspired by these women, it's ridiculous! History is amazing, any kind...and reading is FUNDAMENTAL! I deemed this month AKA Research Month, but of course this is my own personal research. As a soror, it is my duty to defend and uphold the standards, characters, and integrity of my ILLUSTRIOUS organization. I can't do that if I don't know how AKA was started, why, who, what, where, and how...get my drift? So each week, I will be embarking on a journey of knowledge, delving into the many facets that make up Alpha Kappa Alpha history. I'm excited, and I have so much to learn. As intelligent human beings, we should never want to stop learning ANYWAY! So, yeah...this is one of my mantras for the rest of the year...a "thirst for knowledge".

And I just want to say, I love you STG...without you, I'd have no outlet...writing messes with my carpel tunnel. Smooches! :-)

My ALPHABET

I'm super bored at work right now...so... here's something neat I found on a site I visit often. You take each letter of the alphabet and use a word or phrase that pertains to you...

A lpha Kappa Alpha is the ONLY way
B y merit and by culture
C an't get no better than...C. Sha
D EEZ
E xcuses are tools of the incompetent...
F riends are not always forever
G iggity Giggity Goo
H eaven Sent
I sn't she lovely?
J ust in time, OBAMA '08, BABY!
K rappas
L ove
M aybe
N o, seriously...
O bviously!
P ass me not...
Q uanita is one of my bestest friends
R eady to get off work
S leepy
T TT
U AKJW
V ivacious 26- My prophytes
W ill I call him tonight?
X tra with it--B. Mays
Y am I so nervous? I'm not callin til 8-9ish
Z ebra? Black+White

I wrote a poem...

for him for his birthday...not like he'll ever see it. Like to read it? Here it goes...


Untitled

It’s not exactly crystal clear when I told you I liked you
Not knowing how you would respond,
Or if you’d feel it too.
I put myself out on a limb, to see if you would care
I opened my mouth to speak the words,
But Lord, they just weren’t there.
How could I tell you that like a child
You make my feel inside.
I want to run into your arms, but
Instead I run and hide.
But somewhere deep inside my heart
I know that I should say
What’s on my heart, and mind, and soul
With each passing of the day.
I don’t quite know exactly when my palms began to sweat
Or when I’d look away from you, oh had our brown eyes met.
I know one day I sat up in a hard ass dorm room chair
I liked you then, you silly boy, with your long, black, wool-like hair
You are brown, and tall, and lanky, why yes this much is true
I must admit, you caught my eye, and made me notice you.
Your smile and laugh, boy, oh my God,
It brightens up my day.
I never knew that you, my friend, could make me feel this way.
And so from there, somewhere, one day, we soon became good friends.
I’ll tell you this, I never want this friendship with you to end.
So on that day I looked down at my Motorola phone
And read the message that you had a new love, I knew
I was alone.
I will not lie and say that I in no way felt betrayed
But quite the contrary, I felt a rage, and yes, quite dismayed.
“How could you?” I continued to ask myself, with each crumble
Of my heart
“Just throw my feelings out the door, not one piece, but the whole part?”
I did not know that you had had a great epiphany
That you should be with someone who you thought would never ever leave.
I did, however, know that you wanted some security.
But honestly look me in my eyes and tell me that you don’t care,
About me, the way that I for you, and that there is no bond we share.
I want you, to want to need me, but not to that extent.
It is not fair to house your feelings in a little tent.
And keep them all for my own gain, and fail to realize
That you are you, you like who you like, it’s not for
Me to decide.
It’s undeniable, a strong connection that I feel with you.
No other guy has broken my shell, made me think the way
You do.
It’s so emotional to think of if you were to ever go
Why I care for you so much, man I don’t even know.
It’s crazy how it makes me feel, just to hear your voice
How could I not fall hard for you, not like I had a choice.
We’ve had our share of ups and downs,
I’m sure there will be more.
But I am ready, and I hope you are,
For whatever God has in store.
--Candice S. White, May 23, 2008

A little on JUNE Observances

June is Celibacy Awareness Month for all of you out there who have taken a vow to keep your legs closed for WHATEVER reason. I surely do commend you! But there's nothing like ABSTINENCE, baby!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!



And since I suffer from migraine headaches, I'd like to mention that this here week (1st-7th) is National Headache Awareness Week!

Be aware that this coming Friday the 13th is the ONLY one this YEAR! So enjoy it, go catch whatever movie is coming out that day! I know there's one. I just can't think of it right now...

Father's Day is on the 15th! Big ups to all the dads! Especially MINE! Luv ya, daddy!!!

And on the 23rd, every bad bitch in America should be playing Keyshia Cole's LET IT GO single (keep that ish in rotation, b!), for it is LET IT GO DAY!!!! So whatever ain't workin out right in ya life...if you've tried and tried again, let that shit go on the 23rd, and start ANEW! This is the year for that, ya know!

In Pink and Green News...

I will be venturing off to Atlanta, GA for the Annual Greek Picnic with a few sorors, a Delta, and a non-greek (my mom...nosey). The events will be held June 19th-22nd in the Atlanta metro area. I'm so excited because this will be my first Greek Picnic, and I heard these things are BIG!!! My chapter and line will be there to represent (if we can get it together). Y'all know Imma have to come bless STG with photos after the trip. Til then, I'll keep y'all posted on the planning process, but shit, time is drawing NEAR!

Lastly, I don't want to forget my buddies and fam who celebrate a June birthday.

~Noah turned 3 on the 1st

~Yong turns 20 on the 6th

~ MY BESTEST, Corsica turns 20 on the 11th

~ MY Daddy will be 49 on the 22nd

~ My girl LaTerrica will be the big 21 on the 29th.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Y'ALL!!! :-)

GET ON THE OBAMA TRAIN!!!!!

-----> Getting that shirt!

Ladies and gentlemen!! Barack Obama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so proud of how far we have come as a country, even if others feel my happiness is unwarranted, premature, or whatever. No one can deny that we, as African Americans, and this country have MADE HISTORY!!!! Barack Obama is the first African American (half or otherwise) to be a presidential candidate for a major politcal party. It is 2008 people!! This is the year of NEW BEGINNINGS for ME, for you, for this country!!!

I can't wait to go on my BUSH tirade. But I still have a few months to go. I will hold off until January '09 when it won't get me in trouble to go the fuck off about how BAD of a job Bush did as President of this country for 8 agonizing years. Lord have mercy on us all.

Everybody say a prayer for the MAN WITH A PLAN FOR CHANGE WE CAN BELIEVE IN!!!

VOTE VOTE VOTE!

I know I have to get my shit straight when I get back to Birmingham so my vote won't be counted as absentee. Who knows what they do with those votes. My new mantra is to HANDLE BUSINESS and HANDLE IT WELL!!!

I believe in Barack, and I will be doing my own personal campaigning for him. I'm going to invest in Barack para and wear it all the time, especially in November.

It's time for change people!! Are you ready?!

--An AKA for OBAMA!!!!

~When Obama takes the floor at the Democratic Convention to officially accept the nomination it'll be 45 years to the day of Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech. How's that for history?~