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Friday, July 11, 2008

YOU KNOW YOU GHETTO!!! Top 25 Qualifiers

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you know you ghetto - Bishop

I KNOW Y'ALL REMEMBER THIS SONG!!!

Just for shits and giggles...

1) You call your mama by her first name.
2) Your mother did your hair in the kitchen.
3) You take bubble baths with dishwashing liquid, shampoo, or liquid detergent.
4) You save bacon grease.
5) You have a drawer in your kitchen just for condiments from fast-food restaurants.
6) There are more guests at your reception than at the wedding.
7) You add "ED" or "T" to the end of words already in past tense (i.e. tooked, light-skinneded, kilt, killeded, ruint, tolt).
8) The batteries in your remote are held in place with tape.
9) Roaches! They only come out when company comes over, as if to show out. And your children view them as pets and have given them names
10) You wear the following: Brute, Hai Karate, Jean Nate, Old Spice, Chloe, English Leather, Charlie, Faberge'.
11) You use Tussy.
12) You refer to the hair at the nape of your neck as your "kitchen".
13) You've ever dropped anything and kissed it up to God before eating it.
14) You mispronounce these words as such:
a) skrimps, strimps, or swimps=shrimp (note: there is no "s" on the end regardless)
b) rutch=roach
c) urnge=orange
d) wallah=water
e) skreet (or any other str word for that matter)=street
f) axe=ask
g) look-dead=looked
h) member=of or pertaining to a recollection (e.g. y'all member that time...?)
i) spiskettis=spaghetti
j) showliz=sure is
k) nem or nim (the South)=contraction for "them" (i.e. I can't wait til Marquita nem get here.)
15) Ketchup is used on anything other than a hot dog, fries, or burgers
16) You pop or crack your gum
17) You eat chitterlings (chitt'lins) period.
18) You eat these ghetto snacks: PORK RINDS, CHITTERLINGS, MOONPIES WITH COKE, PISTACHIOS, SUNFLOWER SEEDS, PUMPKIN SEEDS, LICORICE, SALT 'N VINEGAR CHIPS, NOW 'N LATERS, JUICE-FILLED WAX, PIXIE STIX, TWISTERS, BOM POPS, PUSH-UPS, MARY JANES, LEMON HEADS, BOSTON BAKED BEANS, MR. SOFTEE, REDHOTS, FREEZPOPS, CHICK O STIX, SNOWBALLS, JIFFY POPS, CHEEZ WHIZ, POP-TARTS, CANDY STUCK TO PAPER, BLOWPOPS, CANDY NECKLACES, JAWBREAKERS, SUGAR DADDY, SUGAR MAMA, SUGARBABIES.
19) You drink these ghetto beverages: YOO-HOO, MALT LIQUOR, TAHITIAN TREAT, SUGAR WATER, FANTA ORANGE, RED KOOL- AID, RED DOG, ANYTHING RED, .99 A GALLON ANYTHING, TAB, FRESCA, WATER ICE, STRAWBERRY SODA, PINEAPPLE SODA, CREAM SODA.
20) You and your friends get your picture taken in front of the wicker fan chair at the club.
21) You've ever been beaten with an extension cord.
22) Your children don't know the words to "Punchinella" or "Miss Mary Mack, but they know ALL the lyrics to Lil' Wayne's Lollipop.
23) You thought that you were a gymnast because you could do a high flip on a pissy mattress that somebody threw out.
24) You've ever played "red-light-green-light", "giggalo", or "hide-and-go-get-it".
25) You've ever cheated in a game of "Mother-May-I?"

ETA: I'm ghetto as hell!!! My cousins are ghetto, my whole family is GHETTO!!! The only thing that I have never experienced or witnessed is calling my mama by her first name. That's asking for a slap in the mouth. How ghetto are you?!!

2 comments:

Wry Beauty said...

Oh lord...lol. I was raised in the least diverse section of Michigan and i'll bed damned if a good number of these don't apply.

All-Mi-T [Thought Crime] Rawdawgbuffalo said...

when u carry hotsauce to a restaurant or country like me

and ask for white bread