What do you do when they try to come back?

They being friends you have become disenchanted or estranged with. Do you accept them back with open arms, or do you turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to their pleas of forgiveness? Naw, this ain't a two-way street. I'm speaking strictly on, if a "friend" does YOU wrong, realizes the error of THEIR ways, and decides to come back...what do you do then?

This situation has presented itself to, not me (as of late), but my bf. And I commend her for the way she's been handling the issue since it first arose. She was definitely the mature one, in all aspects, and even today the disenchanted friend offered his sincerest apologies for being immature.

I asked her when things first broke out what would she do if he should come back and apologize for his behavior. She simply said that she didn't know. This situation was not cut-and-dry and the whole thing REALLY hurt my bf. She was furious that someone she called a good friend and brother could turn on her in an instance over another female....

They are in the process of straightening things out, but we all KNOW that things will never be the same between them, and they will probably never really feel comfortable around each other. What's done is done, and has become past issues. Me and CT are one in the same that we don't necessarily hold grudges--but we do. We tend to never forget how someone treats us (good or bad), especially a "friend".

And this leads me to my next question....Can men and women be "just friends"? Now I have seen this issue discussed and debated many times over different message boards, blogs, and real-life social settings. But I never interject, because until recently, I had never had an opinion on the topic. After what happened to my bf...I think about it often. Can you be just friends with someone of the opposite sex? Without complicating things and saying, "Well we were attracted to each other at one point and tried to talk, but it didn't work, and blah blah blah..."--I mean can you truly, honestly, be in a FRIENDS ONLY SITUATION with a member of the opposite sex?

My opinion is of course...yes and no.

Yes--because there are some people that God brings into your life to make you smile, forget about your troubles, and talk to, but only for a season. There have been a lot of guys in my life that I saw as just friends. Whether they like/liked me then/now is irrelevant. I guess they figure if they can't have me romantically, they'll settle for friendship. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

No--because (this is more complicated) Most times than none you and a guy/girl have been or are attracted to each other...shit, that's why you went over and spoke in the first place! And no matter what, in the midst of taking another's hand in commitment, the attraction will still linger on and has the potential to fuck up a good relationship.

There is this guy that likes to call himself my "brother". How we became friends is WEIRD and fucked up (to me), because it was on some stalkerish shit. We were at a summer camp our church was holding and there was this guy that I really liked. The dude had BEEN asked for my number, and I gave it to him. One night, I get a call from a number I didn't recognize (I was still answering those back then), and low-and-behold, it's the "brother" dude. I was shocked and appalled because I don't find him attractive at all, and we're not even on the same level! I was mad and asked him, "How did you get my number?" and he's like the dude I liked gave it to him...

Y'all know I called HIS ass and cussed him out right? You don't give my number out like that!! And the mofo was just laughing his head off, it was so funny to him. He knew that at the time, I found the other boy to be VERY annoying! Anyway, I felt like, for the "brother" dude to go through all this trouble to get my number without even notifying me, he must like me or something. And I really think he did. He would talk about girls, and about me "hooking him up" with friends, but now I see that this was just a ploy to throw his scent off my trail. He didn't wanna come off as too interested, as his homeboy had already made waves with me.

Needless to say, he continued to vigillantly pursue me, I guess as just a friend (one day he called me 16 times in the span of about 5 hrs) and he got no--where because I was annoyed as hell with him. And to this day, he is just a friend. He still looks the same, acts the same, is THE SAME. He has accepted that I didn't and don't want him like that, and I have accepted that if he can't have me in love, to at least let him be my friend. I have grown fond of him and can stand him calling 3 times a day sometimes. He started calling me his little sister around 11th grade year, and we rolled with it. He has no choice but to be my friend if he wants me in his life...cuz I can't give him anything else.

But then there's the other side of the token (which I will try to be brief about, but I could write a book). Guys that YOU like that YOU have to settle being friends with (grrr,*sigh*). It happens to me quite frequently, but I'll get over it. Going into detail causes me great emotional pain, so I'm gonna leave it alone and just say that, through all of MY disappointments with guys, I know that as Brittni says, "God has something for me that's gone blow "us" out the water". I can't wait to see and know who that is, but I obviously have no choice, so I will let it be.

I have to continue to do me, regardless...I believe he's right around the corner in the next phase of my life...we'll just have to wait and see...:-)