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Friday, August 15, 2008

FINALLY!!! Beach Recap 1: Monday--August 4th

PRE-CURSOR:
For the past 8 or 9 years, my family has ventured to Gulf Shores/Orange Beach for a little fun. The past two years have been something else...us staying at one of the most bourgois condos in Orange beach, Phoenix on the Bay II. This needs to be our LAST year going down here. It's fun...but frankly, it's getting old. People call it the "Redneck Riviera" because of all the racist whites out there...Plus it's Obama season y'all. I ain't tryna die on no subsequent vacations!! Please believe! anyhoo, enjoy these pics real quick before I get into what happened on Monday.


Phoenix on the Bay II
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Big Timing. It costs thousands of dollars to stay here for a couple of days. We do it for a week. But trust, it wasn't easy. We started saving for this trip last year, right after we got off the last one.
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The infamous slide
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I take damn good pictures!
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The condo across the way. Not nearly as grand as our property
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Another view
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So... my recap of summer vacation starts with Monday, August 4, 2008--the day one of my best friends in the world turned the BIG 21!!!

Birthday Girl!!!!
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My hunny lives in these parts in a town about 10 minutes outside of Gulf Shores. Initially he and I were supposed to rendevous on this vacation, but that never happened as he decided to return to H-ville early in preparation for the new school year. Sucks for me, right? So the plan for the day was to get up with Gemini's (formerly The Russian) best friend (whom my cousin is "talking to") and some of his boys to show Quanita a great time on her 21st birthday. So we start getting ready around 1pm (well I do, because I had to go to the bank with my mom). The guys were supposed to come get us around 4pm. There was already some confusion and ambiguity about that because dude, I will call him "Redd", drives a Mustang...and he was already gonna be 3 deep...A mustang will NOT hold 6 people comfortably...well not a convertible anyways. Redd just kept going on and on about how he wanted his cousin "Big Boy", and homie "Squint" along for the fun. I was skeptical as to why the extra body was needed, since I wasn't looking for anyone to kick it with. Quanita was supposed to hang with Squint, and my cousin Chell with Redd...I was gonna be fifth wheel, but wasn't worried about it. Whatevs...I'd just call Gemini and talk to him or something.

But yeah...we get ready and are looking fly:



Chell lookin like a hot tamale, dressed in red for Redd...


Wuddup, BIH!?
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So yeah, we lookin fly and what not. Smelling good, excited, nervous, the whole 9 (mind you, we had never met ANY of these guys before, but cuzzo had been talkin to Redd on the phone for about a month). So 4pm rolls around, y'all...and I swear!! Chell calls Redd to ask him where he is...this NEGRO has the audacity to say he's waiting on his cousin or some bull shit. Nigg, you supposed to BEEN in Orange Beach at 4...you ain't EVEN LEFT THE HOUSE!!!


So Chell gets in bitch mode, pissed off cuz the nigga ain't doin what he said he was gone do. Plus time's a tickin and we were trying to get out ASAP as to get the most out of our little adventure to come. So there we are, all laying on my bed watching Disney Channel, waiting on these fools. My ass fell asleep...I think Quan drifted off too...


Y'all...it was 7 O CLOCK before these mufuckas showed up!!! Okay, so the "day light" is damn near gone!!! When they got to Orange Beach, they ended up going to the wrong property. They were at POB I instead of POB 2. We went all downstairs looking for these niggas, and they're in the wrong place!!! They finally made their way to our floor, and when we got there, they were just standing there looking dumb and bored. Very attractive, the 3 of them tho. I didn't take pics of them for a few reasons I won't discuss.


Anyway, Redd and Big Boy looked mixed, so we surely thought they were apart of a family staying at POB 2, Squint (I thought) was just their homeboy they'd asked to come hang out or something. It occurred to me slightly that the guys may be the Motley Crew we'd been waiting 3 hrs for, but shit, I was pissed so I breezed right by all three of their asses, went inside the condo and slammed the door behind me...OOPS, strike 1, My bad!


So...Quan follows me in, and then Chell. These niggas knocked and I said, "That's probably them..."and rolled my eyes. Chell started acting EXTRA brand new and put on this front like, "I ain't telling them to come in!" I'm like, ain't this what you been waiting for for a MONTH and 3 hrs!?!? She goes out and gets the boys. They all walk in OUR condo without speaking and head straight for the living room area. Niggas plop down on a couch and tell Chell to tell us to "Come out". Me and Quanita look at each other then get up and head out. Quanita is REALLY quiet so she never has much to say. That was expected. I spoke, she mumbled something and then I sat down.


WHEN I SAY THAT BITCH WAS DEAD!!!! Nobody was talking, not even Chell or Redd to each other. I was so confused, cuz ok...you got the nigga over here, and had OH SO MUCH to say, cussing him out on the phone and stuff, and then when he's in your presence, you are on MUTE!? FOR REAL?!? That pissed me off ROYALY!! So me, being the most socially concious, I strike up a convo. I say, "So who are y'all??" These niggas think they runnin game, so they switch out names, well, at least Redd and Big Boy do, as to confuse Chell of which red-boy she is actually talkin to. A conversation was sparked...OH IT WAS SPARKED ALRIGHT!! And all hell broke loose from there!!


Jesus, Redd is a schitzo, I believe. One minute he was cool, calm and collected. The next he is yelling at me, saying I got an attitude, when I'm just trying to make conversation with his crazy ass. He goes off on some tangent because I mentioned that I thought he'd be taller from the pics Chell and I saw on facebook. I think I embarrassed him. BUT SHIT, they were ALL short...and uhhh...we were too. HE GOT MAD, Y'ALL!!! Strike 2 on me....Oh Lord, strike 3 is where the shit hit the fan for real...


So, I'm already semi-perturbed with Chell's lack of conversation and self-imposed put on and shyness...then Redd's ass hauls off talking bout "so what we doin"? We (me, Chell, and Quan) all start speaking at once. "WE thought WE were going somewhere tonight!" Then Chell wanna speak up talking about how she thought we were supposed to be going shopping, out to eat, and to a movie. Redd scoffs (LAUGHS, y'all), and is like, "How 6 folks gone fit up in my Mustang?" I roll my eyes. Was he serious. So you came up in this bitch with no plan and NO apologies....then he did the unthinkable! This nigga asked me what we had to eat. Was like, "We should order pizza!!" To lighten the mood, I jokingly stated, "you payin?" OH MY GOODNESS!! I should have NOT said that...I should have kept my damn mouth closed. This fool launches a verbal assault on me. Getting all upset and excited talking bout I'm disrespecting him, I have an attitude, all this bull. Then he has the fucking NERVE to compare me to Gemini's ex, whom I have no official BEEF with, but let's just say we don't care for each other. I know of her, and she knows of me...


But hold up homie...Redd, I DON'T KNOW YOU AT ALL!!! Who the fuck did he think he was buckin up on me and comparing me to that girl?!?! He said, "you remind me of someone...OH!!! Gemini's ex...you know her don't you...yeah, you got an attitude just like her" and he made a stank face! OMG, y'all I bout peed in my pants and shed a tear at the same time! Now how would he have felt if I started comparing him to Chell's ex who she STILL has communication with. I know if Redd knew that he would have a hissy fit.


I texted Gemini these words: "Your boy is crazy" and he called me wanting to know what was goin on...I didn't have much to say at the time. Y'all honestly I was shocked and appauled, I was upset and heated that his ass arrived at our condo late and subsequently wasn't planning on taking us anywhere. We hadn't eaten since breakfast early that morning and this nigga is asking us to PAY for a pizza that he and his cronies are probably gonna try to eat up themselves!!


I laughed Redd's verbal assault off, but I was truly hurt and offended and all Gemini did was laugh. I felt defeated, and I felt the stinging tears welling up in my eyes. I didn't shed A one tho...


So skipping stupid shit, Redd gets Chell to the back. I'm still on the phone with Gemini. I go back there too...Redd gets on my phone talking to Gemini telling him I got a bad attitude and I'm showing out. I'm like, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS NIGGA, REALLY?!?!?!?"


Ok...so skipping other stupid shit, you know, him whining to his boys, talking bout he ready to go cuz I (SHY) has an attitude with him and he don't feel like being disrespected! I'm seriously confused at where all this hostility is coming from at this point. He then tells Chell, privately of course that he is just causing a scene to get HER in the back ALONE with him. She tells him if that's the case, he should apologize...


When he finally decided to stop being an ass and apologize, I honestly still wasn't feelin that shit. I accepted, but was highly put-off for the rest of the night. When the folks (my Mom, aunt, and Grandma and the kids) got back we (as in, me, Chell, Quan, and the guys) went down to the Bay.


Chell and Redd ran off into the look-out tower and that is where they stayed for the next 2-2.5 hours. Quanita and I chatted it up with the actual COOL dudes, Big Boy and Squint. If it weren't for them being cool enough to chill with, I would have holed myself in that condo for the REST of the night. They even apologized to Quan for her lack luster b-day, but she claimed she had fun. Whatevs. It don't take much to please Lil Bit!


Anyhoo...the last bit of this horrendous night occurs after the guys leave. We still hadn't eaten A THING...so my mom offers to take us to McDonalds. Boy I was still heated. I decided to confront Chell about that stupid shit her lil boo pulled at the condo. I was EXTREMELY nice and calm about it, but I let her know that if she did anything else with him over the course of the week to count me out, cuz I didn't feel comfortable around him. I guess this made her mad or something. She defended him a lil and said, "Well I like him, and I had fun". I was like, "That's good." What the fuck did she want me to say. I'm glad you had fun, boo...but I don't care!


So yeah, we get back to the condo and she hops her happy ass on the phone with that idiot...and when she gets off, she has this NASTY, funky ass attitude...WITH ME!!!! Like I did something to HER! I guess he told her that if she cared so much about what I thought about him, she shouldn't talk to him...and I guess that pissed her off. Guess she thought I was fuckin up her chances because I was being too sensitive or something. What the fuck ever! I now know that this girl will definitely put a nigga BEFORE family!! And she ain't even known him for that long, that's what's CRAZY!!!


I digress y'all. This shit had me stressed. She woke up Tuesday morning with a 'tude too, but by the time it was time for us to go to the mall, we smoothed that shit out and she gave me a big hug. i dropped that shit off in the Bay of my mind, because I was DETERMINED to have a great trip, despite Eve's curse coming at the most inopportune time, despite Mario's untimely death, and despite the hellish drama of Monday. And guess what?


Shit got better from there!! More later!!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Please Don't Be So Generic In Your Thinking!

THANKS!!! So, mama fowards me this email, and in her message she says, "SO TRUE...LOL". Now I don't know if she felt that way for real, or if she just wanted something to say. My mama is a VERY intelligent and "smart" woman, but when it comes to bull-shit email lists, I noticed that sometimes she just says stuff just to say it. In any event, I am going to post this little laundry list of things you should tell all girls about men...hmph...my thoughts included


15 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOURDAUGHTER, GRANDDAUGHTER, YOUNGER SISTER, NIECE, COUSIN... all the GIRLS!

1.. Don't imagine you can change a man... Unless he's in diapers. (okay, I agree with this tip...You can incite change, but you can never ever force it or CREATE it...a man has to want to change for you HIMSELF!!)

2.. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door. (sure...maybe...I wouldn't suggest running after ANY man, even if it is YOUR fault. There is a time for all of that, and right after an argument probably isn't one of the best.)

3.. If they put a man on the moon... they should be able to put them all up there. (didn't get this one)

4.. Never let your man's mind wander... it's too little to be out alone. (what weak-minded men are these women messing with?! If his mind is wandering, there is a reason, and his brain capacity can't be that small if he has the ability to think of someone else!)

5.. Go for younger men. You might as well... They never mature anyway. (hell naw, though I typically end up talking to guys slightly younger than me, there is no way I would exclusively date obviously younger men...I don't have time for the immaturity. It is true that with age comes maturity, so stop fuckin with young boys just because you assume men will always be immature.)

6.. Men are all the same... they just have different faces so that you can tell them apart. (I semi-agree. They all have the same WAYS, some are just less/more severe than others. Some have more tact. But just like women come wired the same, so do men...it's nature.)

7.. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable. (eww, I have to disagree. a bachelor is a single man, and he has VERY much potential to fuck a sista's life up, please believe! Single men are ruining lives and breaking hearts EVERY day!)

8.. Women don't make fools of men... most of them are the do-it-yourself types. (sure, whatever)

9.. Best way to get a man to do something... is to suggest he is too old for it. (you can tell some white woman came up with this list...*sigh*)

10.. Love is blind... but marriage is a real eye-opener. (ok, thanks for the heads up...)

11.. If you want a committed man... look in a mental hospital. (not funny)

12.. The men of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years... Even in biblical times, they wouldn't ask for directions. (ummm)

13.. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in... tell him chequebooks. (This bitch is from Europe!)

14.. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes... it means that you laugh at his. (ok, WORD. Because a lack of sense of humor is a deal breaker for me. I need somebody who constantly keeps a smile on my face and laughter in my heart. Laughing reduces stress, something I have lots of!)

15.. Sadly, all men are created equal. (really now?)

So yeah, after reading through the list a few times, I have come to the conclusion that this list was contrived by a middle-aged white Brittish woman (or Canadian). In any respect, I appreciate her little words of wisdom, but uhh, no thanks for real! And how could my mother, a strong, black educated woman think that majority of the things listed held some truth?!?! Man, whatever! Anyhoo...

I can't stand generic ass thinking when it comes to men (hell, ANYBODY), because all of these negroes are different...these lists are fine in some ways, cuz sometimes you can generalize to make a comparison...but this list just hinted a tad bit too much "white woman's" opinion to me, and I honestly can't identify. Now, I'm a good daughter, so I won't get on mama for sending me this list, but this is definitely not something I will be passing on to my friends, little cousins, nieces, and MOST CERTAINLY not my daughter. God willing, when I have a little girl, she will know what she needs to know through me and other strong-minded women like me...not from some generic ass, Eurocentric minded list. Please and Thank you! Good night!!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Hump Day Funny

This was fowarded to me via text just a second ago...

" 2 prostitutes were walking. 1 said, 'Girl we gonna get PAID TONIGHT!!!! I can smell dick in the air!' The other laughed and said, 'Bitch, I burped' " !

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Sorry I just thought that was funny...

Check it out

So, photobucket was being a bitch last night. I have no way of uploading pictures at work, so I'll try again later tonight. I took some really good pictures, and I'm thinking about taking photography up as a hobby or something.

Anyhoo...I basically ran down the first day of vacation for you with the "*Sigh*" Post. I think it'd be more appropriate to run down the vacation's events with the pictures I took that day, so as soon as I get all 120+ pictures up, I will run down with the stories. Monday was a hot-drama-filled mess!! But we looked cute tho!

For today, I'm going to post a meme I saw on Eb the Celeb's awesome blog. I love the vibe of that place. Sometimes I just go over there to chill and end up staying all day...but yeah...here's the meme thingy.

1. How many people have you kissed in 2008 that actually meant something?1
2. Were you happy when you woke up today?better today than I was Monday or yesterday. It’s hump day, and that means 4 more days til I move back to freedom.
3. Do you hate the last person you kissed?No. Quite frankly, I think he may be the 1st person I fall in love with
4. What are you listening to right now?the sound of trucks and cars passing by my office building
5. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?Yes
6. What would I find if I looked UNDER your bed?a bunch of shoe boxes, old papers, toys (from my child hood, okay!), dust, dead roaches, lol
7. What are you wearing?black pants, a stripey green, white, and black dress top, and some black pumps
8. Are you texting anyone right now?naw
9. Do you like anyone right now?yes
10. Have you ever kissed someone and never saw them again?Unfortunately, NO
11. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?yes. But I think I’ll pass
12. What can't you wait for?the 17th so I can move back to Birmingham and be on my own again
13. Have your parents ever smoked?No
14. Do you want someone back in your life?No, because I feel like, if the person left voluntarily they don’t need to be there in the first place. If they were taken from me, it happened for a reason
15. Who was the last person who called you? The Russian
16. Are you good at giving directions?Not really, but I’m good at following them
17. Would your parents be mad if you got pregnant /got someone pregnant?Yeah, it’s not something they want for me right now.
18. Rent a movie or go to movies?Going to the movies tonight as a matter of fact
19. What did you eat last?a Nature’s Valley Peanut bar…I’m addicted!

20. Has anyone told you they missed you lately?No, though I wish that person would. Maybe if I tell them first…
21. Is your ex still in your life as a friend?I don’t know where that fool is. Last I heard, he moved back to Atlanta and is a homeless bum
22. Are you wearing any clothes that don't belong to you?No
23. Would you ever steal someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend?No. Karma is a bitch
24. Mountains or the beach?beach
25. When was the last time you cried?For real for real, August 3, 2008 when I found out my boy Mario passed
26. Who's someone you miss?Mario Morgan. And I’ll never get to see him again...
27. How many times have you been in love?what is love?
28. How many times have you had your heart broken?I believe you can have your heart broken and not be in love, but maybe that’s just getting your feelings hurt…in any respect, I’d say twice…once it was shattered. It was healed, then someone came and disappointed me sorely, but it has since began to repair itself…
29. Do you hate people who are obsessed with things like High School Musical, Hannah Montana, and The Jonas Brothers?Liking them is one thing. Obsession is another. It’s annoying as fuck, that’s all I’m gonna say. And those Jonas Brothers are UGLY!
30. Have you ever spread a rumor about someone?Maybe…
31. Did you French kiss before you were 16?I was 15…lol
32. Who is the first person you think of when someone asks you who you like?The Russian
33. Have you ever liked someone who all your friends hate?Yes, once upon a time…lol and Kevin is his name-O.
34. Do you prefer to call or text someone?Depends on my mood. Texting is good to get a feel of if someone wants to talk…whereas if you call, you get shut down automatically if that person doesn’t feel chatty…
35. Were you bad in high school?No…I was good and different…but in a good way.
36. Would you take any of your ex's back?No. I can’t handle whiny, clingy dudes, and I can’t deal with people who ain’t bout shit and ain’t goin nowhere in life.
37. Do you cry over girls/boys?It happens…
38. At what age did you start noticing the opposite gender?Kindergarten
39. Are you happy with your love situation?Sorta…I can’t complain. I’m taking things slow with the hope that everything will work itself out. I just hope we don’t get tired of each other and start looking elsewheres this fall…we go to different schools. And eye-candy abounds in the form of FRESHmeat…
40. Last boy/girl to hurt you?The Russian, but things have since improved
41. Would you fail your drug and alcohol test?No because I don’t do drugs and I don’t drink…
42. Who's your favorite person to cuddle with?I haven’t cuddled in a WHILE….so I can’t answer that question honestly right now.

Monday, August 11, 2008

*Sigh*

Just quickly peeking my head in the door to let those of you who care know that I am alive. My vacation was less than enjoyable, but for the most part I can't complain, because unlike my dear friend Mario, Bernie Mac, or Isaac Hayes, I am alive to recount its events.

1) The first night of my vacation, I'm sitting by the pool, looking up at the stars and trying to relax and make the best of an already stressful, drama-filled vacation when I get a text from my friend from church. Skipping the dramatics of the texts, I call my friend and she proceeds to tell me that our friend, Mario had been killed early that morning. He was shot while trying to break up a fight. I don't know details beyond that. My heart dropped below the pit of my stomach if that's even possible. Mario...*sigh* we grew up having a thing for one another, but it was always the kiddy crush thing. But he was always so sweet to me. When I was going through my awkaward teenager phase (chubby, glasses, braces), he was one of the very few guys that told me I was pretty and meant it. He is the only guy that pegged me as an AKA when others stereotyped, saying my 11th grade year of high school, "Candice, you're gonna be an AKA. I just know it". He smiled and walked away. That was impressive to me...Mario never seemed to play into stereotypes, and I realize now that he looked on the INSIDE of people instead of the outside. Mario went into the service (Navy, Marines, one of em), and came back a changed man (from the goofy kid he was). He is survived by his mother Darlene, his younger sister Kelsey, and his baby girl Mariah. It's sad that she will grow up not really knowing what a great MAN her father was. Mario was such a kind hearted person, but I believe in his growing up stages, he caused his mother great pain. Even still, we all make mistakes, and Mario was well on his way to redeeming himself. You'd never think something like this would happen to someone who is genuinely GOOD. But it always happens to the good, the innocent by-standers. The guys he USED to hang out with would surely go before he did (we thought)...but we were wrong. Mario got killed trying to do something good, something right. Got caught in the cross-fire.

I ran into the condo, jumped in my bed, pulled the covers over my head and SOBBED. I wept and cried. I was HEEVING! My heart hurt so bad for that boy, because I just knew he was gonna make something out of his life. He had recently got engaged...he had so much life ahead of him. It breaks my heart to think about it. I missed his funeral (which was Saturday), because I was still in hell (vacation). Maybe it's for the best. I don't want my last memory of Mario to be of him in a coffin.

The last time I saw him was at church this summer. He was with his fiance'. I was walking in front of them. He said, "Hey Candice!" I turned around and he reached for a hug. I hugged him...

I'm so thankful I can remember him for the sweet guy he was.

I love you Mario Morgan. I will always remember our conversations, your laugh, your smile, how good of person you were, you...I miss you terribly already. I love you. Rest In Peace!

Also, condolences to Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes' families. These two GREAT Black American entertainers died within days of each other. It is a great loss to our community.

Man...this is one of the saddest Mondays of my life.

I plan on recapping the trip from day one. I'm to upload pictures tonight when I get home, and then I'll go from there. Also, I want to share a few pictures of Mario tomorrow if I can, a mini-tribute of sorts to my friend. I miss him so much y'all.

And of course, I gotta remember my boys Bernie and Isaac, so I'll have that up sometime soon too, hopefully. I just don't have the energy (physical or mental) today, y'all. I apologize. I am still in mourning and Mario died a week ago. But that's what happens when someone you care about leaves you. It just doesn't go away, and my mind keeps drifting back to that red, smiling face of his....*sigh*

I have a lot to say, but I'll hold it for now. Maybe blog-rounding will make me feel a little better. Keep me, the Jones-Morgan family, Bernie Mac's and Isaac Hayes' families in your prayers ALL this week. Mario was put to rest this weekend, but the journey is just beginning for the other two families. Prayer changes things.

--peace--

Friday, August 1, 2008

WOW!! Post 100!!

LOL...not really a big deal to me. Just like STG being a year old is not that big of a deal. This is an online diary MUCH!!! Anyhoo, I'll be away for a while. I'm going to TRY to enjoy myself in Orange Beach/Gulf Shores for a week with my family. Will it be hard? YES! These muhfukkas ALREADY starting drama and mess. Oh well...I'll hole myself up in one of those rooms and read/plan my semester out. It's all good. Pics of Isaac's lil birthday situation and the Beach Trip when I get back. So look for me on the 11th I suppose. Adios, Au revoir!!