Question Is....Are virgins NOT the bizness anymore??!?

Hopefully this will prove to be a regular segment on STG, but who knows. Life is very sporadic these days, although chock full of drama...

Anywhoo...guess who came back into my life a couple of weeks ago? See previous post. Things didn't go like I had hoped and imagined they would. THAT GIRL was there at his basic training graduation in full effect, like I suspected...whatevs....he got his shit (cell phone, etc) back so now he can make phone calls. He called twice last weekend...

Dude, I just don't know anymore. There is no stand-still...there is no nothing between he and I. We are just friends (especially in his eyes) and I should just accept that shit and move on...

In an attempt to strike conversation last night (we were texting), I asked his opinion on a topic me and some of my homeboys were talking about. They were saying that dudes don't want to fuck with a virgin AT ALL if they don't have to...(basic gist--meaning relationship and/or sex)

I asked what he thought...if he felt like this was true. I said this:

"I remember when virgins used to be hot commodities. Do y'all just not want to deal with them (us)?"

He said:

"Sexually yes. Emotionally no."



It spoke volumes to me, but...WTF does that mean? I didn't ask, because I don't want him to think that I care. But he really just killed my hopes of us being together anytime soon and him being my first. SOMEBODY has to endure the "emotions" that come with a virgin, or else she will be one for the rest of her life. Whatever happened to a guy thinking that you are so special that he WANTS to be your first? I understand that he doesn't want the drama...but, shit! He basically told me in so many words that he doesn't want to deal with me because of my virginal status...I will admit that I tried to get him to commit to me before I would give him the pussy (and it failed), but am I wrong for wanting my first time to be special and the fruition of a committed relationship? Guess so. In his defense, maybe I'm SOOOOO special that he doesn't want to hurt me...doesn't want to be the cause of any emotional distress I might experience after the fact. He doesn't want to be the face behind my regrets (if I have any)...maybe that's what it is.

My emotions fucked me up that night. His whole demeanor changed after I told him that the pussy was for committed situations only. I sensed that shit immediately.

Emotionally, virgins (maybe even the girl who's virginity you took) can be unstable and clingy. I know that I wanted to give myself to him...first, if not forever. I know that I didn't plan on sharing him after that...you know? Guess he still tryna sew his royal oats. Can't fault him, cuz he's still hella young.

I just pray he doesn't come around after I've lost my virginity to someone else, looking for a second chance. Not only will I be a beast in the bedroom, but also a cold, heartless, calculating, CNB-attitude....bitch!

He don't wanna see me!

OUT

p.s. future posts such as these will be short and to the point with question and responses.