ROaCh Stories

I found these stories a while back on a message board I used to frequent. This shit had me rolling...I can relate, because my grandma in GA used to have roaches something terrible, and I swear one of them bitches bit me and gave me a rash that I have to this day!!! Anyhoo, enjoy!!


Story 1:
"son i'm dying right now because this shit is mad true...my thing is i don't even think its always a matter of them trying to front and hoping you dont see it...i honestly think it's so prevalent they dont even notice like that, it becomes a natural part of the decorum in the crib....


boom i remember back in the days i met this girl at black expo, we exchanged numbers and kicked it on the horn for a week or so before we actually decided to meet up at her place in brownsville for a movie night...soon as i stepped in her lab there were like three roaches parlaying on the pre-requisite wooden fork and spoon on the kitchen wall so i knew this was going to be trouble...we sit on the couch and [ZOOM!] two more race across the coffee table, i said "oh shit!" in shock at their raw speed and how they chillin in large numbers like niggas...she was like, "don't worry they aint gonna bother you"...turned out the lights, popped the movie in and got cozy on the couch next to me...


so after a while we're kissing and i'm an eyes open kisser, yo once i went for her neck? BOOM, i peep one on the wall above her couch, duke was brolic and his antennaes were moving like thunder sticks, i was shook son...so anyway she backed off the kissing like, we're moving too fast and i was good with that because i needed to keep my eyes on that damn wall...well the movie diverted my attention from him for a few minutes and the next thing you know i felt something on my neck...i jumped up screaming, "AH SHIT, THE ROACH JUMPED ON ME YO! THE ROACH! A FUCKIN ROACH!" while i jumped up and down and ran in circles like a little kid....it was then i realized that my hoody string was up on my shoulder and fell down grazing my neck....after that it was a wrap to say the least, she was mad embarrassed...she said, "well, i'm kinda tired sooo"...and i was like, "yeah me too" and i bounced out of there with the quickness...once i got outside i went into a blimpie's bathroom and took off all my clothes and shook them shits out thoroughly...we never kicked it again, i'm itchin right now just thinkin about it smh.…"--Claude


Story 2:
"smh you know you got a roach prolem when you dont give a fuck about roaches no more....I dont even bother pickin up dead roaches no more....they all over in random places...yall woulda thought some roaches detonated a suicide bomb while they homies was parlaein in my crib....I found one in my fridge mane....and I was thinking....how the fuck.....ahhh....never mind.....and shut that shit and continued my day....smh"
--Vance