MERRY BELATED CHRISTMAS...and stuff

Hey all!! Hope your Christmases were AWESOME, and that you got everything that you wanted and needed, and that you got to spend it with who you wanted to. I didn't get anything on my Christmas list :-(....but it's all gravy. I'm well aware that it is better to give than to receive, and trust me, I did a LOT of giving, spending money I didn't have.

I'm just blessed and thankful to be alive and looking foward to the new year.

Over the break, I realized that I need to let go of my pursuit of ole dude...formerly Houston, formerly the boy, formerly The Russian etc.

He's just way too inconsiderate and I'm tired of always being blamed for his shortcomings. I'm tired of his excuses, and his inability to take responsibility for his actions. I realize now that we are better off as friends until he grows up, and then we can try again.

I guess, in a way he tried to tell me he wasn't the one. My persistance got me into this mess...but I'm determined to get myself out. I've been praying about it, and everytime I have a lingering thought of him I ask God to "remove the longing". I don't want him completely removed from my life because he is a good friend. I DO, however, want any romantic thoughts and feelings to dissipate until he gets his shit together and can pursue me like a real man.

I am worthy of true love. I deserve it, and one day it will come. Patience is indeed a virtue, and I bet I will have one of the best fairy tales to tell my kids one day.

Oh, and don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to blame him for us not working...I blame him for not admitting fault and trying to fix it. I blame him for not trying to reach out me...He told me about a month ago that he could sense the end of our friendship...he told me that if it ended, it'd be my fault because I wouldn't reach out to him. Sorry buddy...you're prediction was only half true. I've done nothing BUT try for a whole damn year...OH WELL...

No use crying over a nigga I never had in the first place. WOrd to the wise...inconsiderate behavior will get you no where with ANY WOMAN unless the bitch is dumb.

I'd like to think we'll always be friends, but I'm tired of trying...time to move on....

Anyhoo...TOODLES

P.S. We had some good times, but it wasn't fun while it lasted! Oh, and friendship is a reciprocal situation. The sooner he grasps that concept, the better off he'll be.

This song sums up our twisted relationship/friendship to a mother fuckin TEE and I never noticed til today, but I've known this song since it came out..."Nothing Lasts Forever" by Maroon5 (auto play taken off...visit imeem.com to hear full song)


"It is so easy to see disfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls before the sadness kills us both
I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last, but I don't know
I just don't know"

Chorus:
"Everyday...with every word whispered we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way"

AND IT IS...at least for me right now!