Friday, November 9, 2007

WTF...naw really...what the fuck?!

What is going on?!?! I want to talk about these two guys I know...and their issues...and I hope they never find this (at least no time soon..), but I mean, what's wrong? I guess I won't focus so much on them as I don't wanna cause no drama or confusion.

I guess the topic I want to touch on is why can't these hopeless mofos just enjoy being single? Now before you think I'm being cold and heartless, let me explain...

I have this male friend (who will remain anonymous) who is always telling me about his latest relationship endeavors. No matter how much I express to him that maybe, just maybe I don't give a damn, he still manages to drop me a line on facebook telling me what's going on. Now it wouldn't bother me so much, normally...but my problem with him is...I'll tell him stuff and give him advice from a female's perspective as a genuine friend, and he (and another guy I know) will take that info and basically shit on it. They do not take heed, and frankly I'm tired of wasting my damn breath!

Case 1: Dude, don't keep coming to me tellin me that you met this girl and you think she's the one. Save that shit for someone who cares. You should know by now that I just don't give a fuck! I asked him today, HOW ARE U SO SURE THIS GIRL IS THE ONE??? Didn't you just kick one off the team a couple of days said she was the one too...Get your shit straight, or just stop coming to me with this mess.

But I think I know what his issue is...and I mentioned this in a previous post...this guy feels that (thinks that) if he tells me about what all girls he's talking to, all the females he's pulling and the play he's getting and all that shit...that i'll get jealous or some shit and start liking him...NEWSFLASH BOO, I stopped being like that BEFORE I met you! WOW! And he still hasn't caught on. And I am determined not to fall for him, because doing so would be settling for less. I'm sorry, but these things I'm saying would be also said to his face. I have no qualms about that! But yeah, he thinks he has me pegged, but he is oh so wrong.

I've been single for nearly 3 years, and he's been on-again-off-again with a whole bunch of broads. I haven't come crying to his ass yet and don't plan on it.

Case 2: I love this guy to death, I really do. And what's endearing is that he's like a little brother to me (or younger brother, my "little brother" is literally little--7 yrs old). I really feel like my words of wisdom can do this guy some good, right? Well, he's in a situation with a highly detested female on our campus (not saying I DETEST her, but she works my nerves on a constant basis). He's liked her since the moment he laid eyes on her, he also fell in love with her wild/loud/crazy personality I'm supposing. But I mean, she's shot him down since day one of his expressions of love for her, and our 2nd year into school she is still treating him like shit, if not worse than before.

And so he comes to me and two other amigas for words of advice, encouragement, opinions. We, seeing the pain this GIRL is causing him, tell him to leave her alone and move on...does he listen? NOOOPE! And I mean, we've broken shit down for him and everything, but for whatever reason, he can't seem to lose that grip. Well, I finally told him I'm tired of voicing my opinions on the situation (more like advice), and it falling on deaf ears. Sure opinions are opinions and mostly one-sided but in his situation, It's not like I'm telling him to do anything that I think will cause him pain or suffering (in the long run). But I mean, he'd rather endure that long-term pain and neglect than go ahead and be thru with her, chunk deuces, hurt a little and then start looking for someone who will truly make him happy. I told him I'm through with THAT situation and I will not be offering anymore WORDS on the subject. But because I haven't given up hope on him totally, I will listen to anything else...deeming that it doesn't end up like this here situation.

Which leads me to my final point. Why the hell can't these dudes just enjoy single life? What the hell is wrong with being single? ESPECIALLY IF UR SHIT NEVER SEEMS TO BE IN PLACE WHEN U ARE WITH SOMEONE!!! They bitch and moan about being alone, but don't know the first thing about being truly committed to someone and how to maintain a relationship (not saying I do, but I have an idea). It seems as if these dudes want to have their cake and eat it too, and buddy...maybe in real life that's how it works, but metaphorically that shit doesn't fly too often.

I can't say I'm ready to make that leap to Committment Land, yet. I HAVE A LOT GOING ON RIGHT NOW...that's why I make the situation clear with anyone who has an interest in me that I am mutally interested in. I just wanna cuddle, watch movies, chill, laugh, take walks, maybe go out sometimes-type thing with you. I don't necessarily have to be your girl...but it needs to understand that we're "something" (again...a whole 'nother post). I gotta get these grades so I can make this money; when things start to slow down, then we can settle down, ya know? EVERYBODY IS BUSY (or should be), and if you ain't I can't deal! SORRY! This type of situation sets the tone and foundation for the rest of a pretty decent, if not beautiful courtship and possibly long term relationship. But maybe I'm just living in a damn fantasy world. But seems like I got a better grip on reality than some of these mofos...ANYWAYZ...

People need to learn how to love self, before they can love someone else. Case 1 does not fully love himself, because if he did, he'd have confidence in himself (something that I find attractive), and he would have BEEN told me that he liked me. Who knows (then) what would have happened? But his ways disgust me so badly today, that he has a snowy chance in hell that I'd see what's up with him. He's the main one that needs to chill the fuck out and take some self-help/love/discovery classes! DAMN!

Case 2 doesn't love himself either, because if he did, he'd know that he's worth a hell of a lot more that that bitch gives him credit for. He'd know that he has something to offer to a girl and that she obviously doesn't see it and therefore is not deserving of him. He'd know how to decipher real from fake and who is for and against him. A TRUE friend will tell you the mother fucking TRUTH...point...blank...period. And when it comes to guy friends I don't really feel anything is at stake so I let it all out. (With girls, it's different, shouldn't be but that's another post in itself).

I promise you I tear into Case 1's ass every chance I get, because he says some of the most stupid shit and THESE DAYS tries to justify it (weakly, but nonetheless). I don't buy it tho, bro. And I mean, I'm calling this brand of truth TOUGH LOVE...I love them niggas, but they are extremely foolish when it comes to matters of the heart. I don't want to see them hurt, but a lot of the pain and anguish they experience are brought on by bad decisions and choices on their part. Very rarely do they follow my advice...

Oh and recently Case 1 came to me with a success story (so I thought). He had actually taken my advice (so it seemed, but he took stuff I said and twisted it to fit his situation...he didn't actually do what I said). Ultimately things didn't work out, cuz the girl wasn't for him in the beginning. He can't blame it on me because he started dating chick a wk after meeting her....whatever...

Word to the wise: take time to get to know some of these girls before you start getting all excited or boosting up they're heads about what you can/will do for them. In the end, the time it takes for you to get to know them and figure them out will be well worth it when you have that "ultimate" prize on your arms" --this goes for ladies too!

And I'm out!