I thought about it and...

*this is the spoken word piece I was talking about...I wrote it a couple of nights ago when I really got to thinking about some situations I've been thru with guys. This piece is specifically about 3 different guys in 3 different stages or points in my life...Hope you like it!*

Life is too short to pass up opportunities to get to know someone
Life is too short to decide it’s not worth it to smile and say hello
I, myself am tired of wondering “what if”—I really am
I deserve to be happy too
Like she said…I just want someone that I can be happy about seeing everyday
That’s all I want too…
And low and behold, I spot you, take interest and wait
And wait, and wait, and wait, and wait
Throw hints, make remarks
Secretly (so I think) investing so much time on my appearance
“Changing”, in a way, all to impress you
All just to get you to GLANCE my way…
It’s tiring and I cry about it
I beat myself up about it, and wonder why?
What’s wrong with me? How come I can’t get him to see?
Did I ignore your feelings back then?
Was I oblivious to YOUR advances?
I apologize…
Karma’s no joke.
Now you’re happy, and with another…or you were with her all along
Dare I say it
Oh well, nothing I can do about it
“How you get him is how you lose him”
She said that too, and it’s OH SO TRUE
I’m deciding to take it slow
Focus on me, getting my life straight
Making a checklist of things about ME I want to change—for me—this time.
There’s a lot wrong with me, but I never claim to be perfect
Or anywhere near it
I’m vulnerable, shy, sensitive, and a bit paranoid
And…
Yes, I’m boy-crazy
I’ve discovered that’s some of the problem
BOY-CRAZY…yeah…I can be crazy about them, without acting on it
And then it happens.
O….M…G…
Never thought…and wondering how and why
Am I deserving?
Then she asks me, “Why do people receive a blessing and still question God?”
I felt bad, cuz she’s right
He didn’t have to do it, but He did
And now I feel special again, in the context of feeling “liked”
Or whatever
I go with the flow…hoping that the current takes me on a looooooooong journey
With Prince Charming
One that I’m willing to go through the good and the bad for
Maybe that’s the problem right there…Prince…who?
Nevertheless…
It’s amazing and I hope things stay this way for a while
Or better yet progress
I used to like you
Maybe I still do
But damn it, if I can’t get you to see it, let alone understand it…
Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids
And I’m so tired of the games
YOU’VE GOT TO KNOW…really…
You don’t?
It’s not obvious?
Always been afraid of rejection
And seems like you know that
And you’re capitalizing on that
You want me to come out and say it
To tell you how I REALLY feel…
3 words…

WON’T BE ABLE!!!