Updates and Shit

So on the 10th of January I got that all too familiar text message from ole dude basically telling me that we needed to chill out and he really wasn't ready for the direction I seemed to be leading him. He needs to focus on, and establish himself. He said that he may sound a little selfish, but if he doesn't do those things, who will? And buddy...i totally agree...I can't ESTABLISH you by any means, any more than I can establish my damn self. I totally agreed with everything he wrote in that text message...but the heartache was still there because at the time I felt that him needing to focus had nothing to do with US...but it did because in essence I WAS/AM a distraction to his goals...not necessarily a bad distraction, but one nonetheless...And to top it all off...this, my friends, was not the first time I'd seen this exact text message. It was the third time. So when was I gonna get the picture that he is not ready for me? When he's standing unwillingly at an altar, dreading the vows to come because he knows we're bonded for life after that?? No...so I nipped that shit in the bud. Gave him all the space he needed. We talked on the 14th...and he came at me with the, "You don't fuck with me no more" bit...and I'm like Whatthefuckever!!! But we had a good convo. He called again a few days later with the same line, and this time I told him what I'm telling you right now. He needs the space so I gave to him! When was I gonna get the hint, you know?!? "Oh so you mad over a lil text message, huh?" was his reply...my answer was No...I'm just doing what you asked. I still care about you, but all that other stuff is done. And I'm done. He got quiet and when I kept trying to talk he blurted out, "Let's just talk about something else", so we did. I changed the subject and we talked for a good bit after that. I knew things would be different from now on because instead of good night, we both said good-bye...But hopefully he's not so pissy that we can't continue to be friends...Anyhoo

On the 15th, my life changed for ever....well at least my love life. To make an amazingly long story short, this guy I've known since childhood calls me while I'm sitting at my aunt's house and he's like, "Happy Belated Birthday!! What you doin?" I told him I was with fam and he was like, "Are you free to go to the movies tonight?" I was like..no...plus my weave was fucked up so I definitely wasn't going out in public like that, let alone with a dude. So with his persistance, he suggests Sunday (the 16th), and I reluctantly agree...Sunday I avoided him...I even thought about backing out and telling him I couldn' go because I had to baby sit.... The problem wasn't him, persay...I just never really cared for EXTREMELY NICE, WELL-RAISED guys, which he is....He is very handsome, awesome body, extrememly intelligent and goal-oriented...but good girls like to go for bad and I wanted my thug!!!

But boy, am I glad I went on this date. Not only was it my first real date EVER, the dude treated me like a princess the WHOLE time. He opened his car door for me, he made sure I was on the inside of the street when we walked, he paid for the tickets (which is not TOO common these days for dudes my age). He was the PERFECT gentleman! Then after the movie and everything we go back to my house and just sit in the driveway for 2 hrs talking....I learned so much about how a man should be treating ME...not just any woman, but ME!! I am a good girl and well-deserving of true love.

This dude told me some stuff that had tears in my eyes. I know now that I should have never put myself in the position to be treated any less than what I am, and that is a freaking LADY! I am looking foward to getting to know him better and hopefully building a relationship. Our commonalities are uncanny and we have history, so the pros definitely outweigh the cons as far as first impressions. I love his style and his drive and the fact that he looks scrumptous doesn't hurt either. He's a true sweetheart and he brought back that little tingling feeling (no not the horny one) that you have all over your body when you feel loved...I haven't felt that in 6 years!!!! So yeah!! I'm happy and that's all that matters!

Deuces

happy birthday??

I'm 21 today...YAY!

Overdose

Just this new song I'm really feeling.

It's by Jamie Foxx

Overdose - Jamie Foxx

SO...

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!!

I brought it in with a few good friends, and some fam at CLub Chills...
The damn DJ forgot to keep track of time, so we were actually counting down 2009 when it was ALREADY 2009....That made me sad. I brought in the new year sober...but baby...when I left that club I was TOo gone!!!

I once vowed to never drink alcohol, but peer-pressure and the fact that I didn't have to buy the drink got to me and my cousin got me a Blue Motherfucker...

This was my first drink EVER...what a way to start the new year!

I had too much fun getting tore down. It apparently doesn't take much for me. It felt so good. But I cannot make drinking a habit...Here's why:

1) I have an addictive personality
2) I form bad habits easily
3) I can't hold my liquor

This morning when I rose...I felt it...HANGOVER if you will...sucks

I puked from 11am-2pm...straight up. Puked up my 4 crackers and sprite, and my Pe.p.to. Puked it all up!!! Made me think twice about drinking in the first place. I may do it again...but it won't be any time soon. And I definitely don't wanna become one of those people who keep alcohol in their dorm rooms just because they can. Drinking by myself will cause problems...EWWW...my experience was so horrible this morning, I'm almost getting sick thinking about the thing I ingested last night.

Jer.ica thinks I got so sick because I hadn't eaten, and nothing was really on my stomach. My cousin thinks I got sick because I mixed the Blue thing with a smidge of long island iced tea...:-(

Either way...I was actin crazy. ROllin all over the floor and giggling and stumbling. It was fun, indeed. Just don't know when I'll be able to do that again!

Shouts out to Britt, Tam, Hanae, Chell, Jess, and Jer.ica!!! I love you guys!