FROM MY MYSPACE BLOG..."In a Few Words...or not so much"

I don't feel like retyping stuff, so here ya go. Happy New Year, Happy Belated B-day to all the Jans and Febs...sorry...life's been a busy bitch lately! (Not complaining). Ummm...Hope you enjoy.

"So...Life has had it's share of ups and downs since 2008 started. I can't say it started off exactly in the manner or fashion I would have liked for it to, but hey, that's life! Nothing's perfect. What I came to realize though, is that I'm experiencing life for what it really is. There is no sugarcoating (or not much of it), I have to work for what I want (like for real), and take the good with the bad.


In the past couple of months (particularly January), I have talked to at least 3 different guys, but I still have madd feelings for that one...yes he's on my top friends list...deal with it. Things are moving slow tho, so slow that I won't allow myself to stop talking to other guys altogether. I don't even think that's what I'm supposed to do. Should God allow us to be together, it will happen regardless, right? I hope he knows that he has a special place in my heart, but that I can't continue to just wait around for him to decide if he wants to try to make something work between us. Can't do it. Won't do it.


On another note, I consider myself a mentor. I have two younger cousins (13 year olds), who I feel look up to me. I love them dearly, and it's kinda fun watching them grow up and become young ladies. But at the same time, it's scary and annoying. They have this notion that they're supposed to be doing EVERYTHING they see their little friends do. That entails getting weaves, nails done, wearing hoochie clothes, and having lil boyfriends (and doing things with them). You just don't know how bad I wanna beat their lil asses sometimes. Too grown...They're on my top list too...heffas! I love them, but I want them to realize that they need to try to be different. You don't have to follow the crowd or do what everyone else is doing just because you want to fit in. Why not have people follow your example? Why not make your own path? I did it, and continue to do it in my own way. And I will forever be Candice Shanice because of it, not "that girl right there", ya know? Same goes for my lil brother too with his bad ass. Stop worrying about what all the other kids are doing and just do you. That man ain't make that song for nothing. As much as people walk around singing that shit, you'd think people actually LISTEN to the words...and don't. They hear, but they don't LISTEN. And that's one of the MAJOR AILMENTS of our generation.


On another note...friendships. I feel like I'm going through a phase right now. And someone (the guy who has my heart) can attest to this, cuz he's going through the same thing. I'm at the point in my life where I'm like, "If you wanna be my friend, cool...but I'm not gonna force my friendship on you, nor am I gonna kiss your ass just to please you. You take the good with the bad, just like I do with you. And If I get tired of your ass, or vice versa, oh well! It just wasn't meant to be". <------- That's how I feel! People think I'm supposed to be walkin around catering to them and shit. Hell naw, fuck that! The "Please You" phase has come and gone. That's over now, and I'd prefer for you to please me, ya dig! I have a feeling that I may lose a friend or two this year, but if that's the case, I already know that those people were just leaves in my life. The roots or trees will be there for me during and after my hardships just as they are here for me now.


You know how you got those people in your life who feel like you owe them something because they're better than you (so they think). They feel like they got the one up on you or some shit? I'm tired of them mofos!! I'm also tired of people who have a problem with me, but won't address it...instead they look at me sideways or cop funky ass attitudes. Guess what? Bitch if you got a problem, we can solve it one of two ways. You can come to me like a lady and get it dealt with in a proper fashion, or we can take it to the street. But fyi...I didn't and don't want your man....he wanted me. If anything I was lookin out for you, cuz I thought we were cool...guess not. But I'm not finna go outta my way to speak to you or be cordial to you, because OBVIOUSLY, you don't like me anymore, for whatever reason. Guess what? It's not my job to figure out why. I'm clueless, and for the sake of my sanity, choose to remain that way.


But yeah, 2008...what can I say? So much drama has already ensued, and it's only February! I can't say that it won't get worse...more than likely it will. But I'm ready to face this shit head-on. There's really no other way, ya know?! I know...I KNOW God has a plan for my life, just as he has for you, my friends, my family, and my enemies. it's up to me to trust and believe that, ya know? In the words of Kevin P. Turner..."After you've prayed about it, tell me why you worrying too?" Nuff said.


I'm outtie!"