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Just a note to say that I am taking an indefinite hiatus from STG...tired...I need new direction and focus. I need a muse, and I don't have one...Mike is gone...I need a break!

My twin has a diary blog. I will post with her. Can't say everything I wanna say on here, like I used to be able to. A new day has dawned.

I will be back periodically if I get the urge to drop somethin...changing the "P.O.W." in the side bar. Check it out...

Life is funny. The toughest teacher in the world. And it's always showing you what you in fact, KNOW is true, but don't wanna believe.

Today is a new day and my focus needs a dramatic shift. I'm headed in the right direction. Just need some guidance.

I drop lines over at my.space every now and then. So if you find me on there....I write from time to time, lately, more frequently than over here...

School is what's most important. Other things come later.

The Lord is my Shephard...I need to get right! I have issues that need to be resolved. I need ME time. I need...prayer...

Constantly fighting urges to do wrong. Lord, please get me to the 17th aka the "light at the end of the tunnel".

This is it for my ramblings. It for STG posts for a while. I will return....when I'm good and ready.

Good Day!

Oh Yeah...(Randomness)

And remember how I told y'all i shouldn't make drinking a habit because I have an addictive personality??!


Well, let's just say I'm well on my way to becoming an alcoholic. This is essentially a cry for help...so take it like you wanna.

Sometimes I be thinkin...Blogger Edition Pt. 1--AM I MY HAIR??!?!

SO, I did this thing on facebook a couple of days ago, where I posted my random thoughts for the past previous days...pretty cool responses from my tagged friends. Seems like I've been thinking what a lot of other people have been thinking...at one time or another. In any event, this week has been one of INCREDIBLY LOW LOWS for me...(did I mention I feel like I'm being bitten by fleas as I type this?).

I had a hair crisis a few days ago...I went crazy, blacked out and started taking down my perfectly good kinky twists for no reason at all. I was SOOOOO gorgeous with them. Plus I KNEW I had a big week coming up and a probate to attend...still, something in me snapped and I started taking down my hair.

Now, for those of you who don't know...I was planning on going natural and was/still am in the transition stage. About 1/3 of my hair is natural, the other part is still permed...TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THAT MY HAIR LOOKS A HOTT ASS MESS!!!

I cried...and cried, and was frustrated and scared, and angry, and shaking. I was mad at myself for not thinking before I acted. I was literally contemplating suicide! Now I know y'all are out there like, "Girl, it's just hair"...but Y'ALL! I'm at a cross roads in my life....I grew up with pretty hair (for the most part)...Up until last year, my hair was almost to the middle of my back. The night before my probate, my prophyte cut my hair...and it looked good...and it grew back...

But then, at the end of last year I started getting glue-ins (weaves), and y'all, REAL TALK, I think that beautician CUT my REAL HAIR!!! I have substantial evidence to back up my theory. Since I KNOW that he layered my real hair with the weave, I'm thinking that when he got ready to style (and it was already late in the night, both times), he was probably tired and didn't really take the time out to notice what was MINE and what was WEAVE, therefore cutting off MY HAIR and WEAVE...cuz when I took the shit out I noticed my hair was MUCH shorter than it had been before I started getting weaves. But I kept this to myself, and thought that maybe I was being paranoid...

Well here I stand, nearly 3 months since my last glue-in....scissors have not touched my head (to cut weave in a style) since then...and my hair is SHORTER THAN EVER! I LOOK LIKE A BALD-HEADED WANCH!! My hair doesn't even touch the nape of my neck anymore...

Now don't get me wrong, I haven't had a retouch in almost 4 months (if not longer), so I know that this could be some of the problem, but I still think my hair is seriously damaged. But I realized through my hair crisis that going natural is not for me. I think I got caught up in the hype...but real talk, it takes a strong, determined black woman to do this. AND...YOU GOT TO HAVE THE HEAD FOR THAT SHIT! I am not knocking my natural sisters, but this one girl walking around my campus either does not take a comb to her hair (brush, whatever) or her head is SERIOUSLY mishapen and she might want to consider a relaxer...

But no, I really am jealous of natural women, and one day, Imma get like y'all. I thought it would be cool to try it out in my college years, you know experiment...but I have too much going on in my life right now, and going NATURAL is a lifestyle change, one I'm not quite ready to make.

It would have been perfect for me, because I don't favor heat in my head, and I don't know how to do ANYTHING to my hair, but put it in a pony tail or wear it straight down. That's why hats are my friends and I look damn good in them. But man, yeah...I just had to share that.

My mama has ALWAYS told me (and apparently her mother told her this too), "Your hair is your glory"...boy do I believe that now. I felt like PURE-D-SHIT last night at that probate. My homeboys still treated me the same, everybody still loved me and spoke, but I felt ugly. Hair doesn't make you who you are, but I believe if it's looking right, it definitely gives you self-confidence!! I never want to feel this way about my hair again.

Maybe when I'm 50, retired, and busy writing my 3rd book will I sit down and actually take time out to become a NATURAL woman...Natural hair is beautiful and I envy the women strong enough to rock the locks (and the fro...I LOVE THE FRO!!!)...I dunno...Imma get there one day, ladies...and maybe I just needed some guidance, but I didn't have any...so I'm giving up and going back to hair crack on Tuesday. Don't hate me!

Research and Investigation

I'm launching an investigation. I can't divulge details, but I will say that it involves myself and the opposite sex, compatibility, and eventually pin-pointing what I'm really looking for in a man and a relationship.

Not saying the one I'm in now isn't going to work...but I AM 21...and there is so much more life to live (God willing)...so I can't limit myself in my thinking (like I did last year).

Aside from working on myself and the way I deal with certain situations, the way I manage time, and the way I come across to men, I will be investigating what it is that I am looking for exactly.

Yeah, true, I want my husband to be a carbon copy of my dad with the exception of looks (my dad is very handsome...but I don't want a nigga that looks like him. That's just too f'in weird, but you get my drift), but I also want someone who is spontaneous, romantic, and outgoing (which are qualities that my dad (nor me) doesn't necessarily possess. Basically I need someone to bring out the wild side of me in a relationship.

My mom has been suggesting for the last 2 years of my life that I sit down and make a list of things I DO want and things I DON'T want in a man and in a relationship. Pros and Cons. She said she did it, and it made things a hell of a lot more clear for her. So yeah...I think it's time, but I'm going to go a step further and get more detailed in my selection of DOs and DON'Ts...

So I've begun my preliminary research...finding out who my best and worst matches are according to astrology and sun signs. I'm kinda into astrology (not on some worship/religion tip), because it is super relatable to a broad spectrum of people who fall under the same sign, and sometimes that shit be dead on (more times than none for me). It just amazes me that people have studied other humans so extensively that they can generalize about ANYONE who has the same sign and postulate a correct assumption.

I'm going to write a dissertation...maybe...more like a paper...but nonetheless....and share it with the blogosphere and maybe facebook/myspace.

The first piece of my research I am going to share is the sun signs that are my best and worst matches...

WORST:
Aries
Libra

BEST:
Taurus
Virgo
Scorpio
Pisces

Next time I will share the names of guys who I've dealt with (crush, talked to, dated) in the past that fall under these signs, and whether or not I need to rethink giving them a second chance (or a chance at all if they haven't had one yet).

Oh, and this project needs a name....so yeah...I need to think on that.

Updates and Shit

So on the 10th of January I got that all too familiar text message from ole dude basically telling me that we needed to chill out and he really wasn't ready for the direction I seemed to be leading him. He needs to focus on, and establish himself. He said that he may sound a little selfish, but if he doesn't do those things, who will? And buddy...i totally agree...I can't ESTABLISH you by any means, any more than I can establish my damn self. I totally agreed with everything he wrote in that text message...but the heartache was still there because at the time I felt that him needing to focus had nothing to do with US...but it did because in essence I WAS/AM a distraction to his goals...not necessarily a bad distraction, but one nonetheless...And to top it all off...this, my friends, was not the first time I'd seen this exact text message. It was the third time. So when was I gonna get the picture that he is not ready for me? When he's standing unwillingly at an altar, dreading the vows to come because he knows we're bonded for life after that?? No...so I nipped that shit in the bud. Gave him all the space he needed. We talked on the 14th...and he came at me with the, "You don't fuck with me no more" bit...and I'm like Whatthefuckever!!! But we had a good convo. He called again a few days later with the same line, and this time I told him what I'm telling you right now. He needs the space so I gave to him! When was I gonna get the hint, you know?!? "Oh so you mad over a lil text message, huh?" was his reply...my answer was No...I'm just doing what you asked. I still care about you, but all that other stuff is done. And I'm done. He got quiet and when I kept trying to talk he blurted out, "Let's just talk about something else", so we did. I changed the subject and we talked for a good bit after that. I knew things would be different from now on because instead of good night, we both said good-bye...But hopefully he's not so pissy that we can't continue to be friends...Anyhoo

On the 15th, my life changed for ever....well at least my love life. To make an amazingly long story short, this guy I've known since childhood calls me while I'm sitting at my aunt's house and he's like, "Happy Belated Birthday!! What you doin?" I told him I was with fam and he was like, "Are you free to go to the movies tonight?" I was like..no...plus my weave was fucked up so I definitely wasn't going out in public like that, let alone with a dude. So with his persistance, he suggests Sunday (the 16th), and I reluctantly agree...Sunday I avoided him...I even thought about backing out and telling him I couldn' go because I had to baby sit.... The problem wasn't him, persay...I just never really cared for EXTREMELY NICE, WELL-RAISED guys, which he is....He is very handsome, awesome body, extrememly intelligent and goal-oriented...but good girls like to go for bad and I wanted my thug!!!

But boy, am I glad I went on this date. Not only was it my first real date EVER, the dude treated me like a princess the WHOLE time. He opened his car door for me, he made sure I was on the inside of the street when we walked, he paid for the tickets (which is not TOO common these days for dudes my age). He was the PERFECT gentleman! Then after the movie and everything we go back to my house and just sit in the driveway for 2 hrs talking....I learned so much about how a man should be treating ME...not just any woman, but ME!! I am a good girl and well-deserving of true love.

This dude told me some stuff that had tears in my eyes. I know now that I should have never put myself in the position to be treated any less than what I am, and that is a freaking LADY! I am looking foward to getting to know him better and hopefully building a relationship. Our commonalities are uncanny and we have history, so the pros definitely outweigh the cons as far as first impressions. I love his style and his drive and the fact that he looks scrumptous doesn't hurt either. He's a true sweetheart and he brought back that little tingling feeling (no not the horny one) that you have all over your body when you feel loved...I haven't felt that in 6 years!!!! So yeah!! I'm happy and that's all that matters!

Deuces

happy birthday??

I'm 21 today...YAY!

MERRY BELATED CHRISTMAS...and stuff

Hey all!! Hope your Christmases were AWESOME, and that you got everything that you wanted and needed, and that you got to spend it with who you wanted to. I didn't get anything on my Christmas list :-(....but it's all gravy. I'm well aware that it is better to give than to receive, and trust me, I did a LOT of giving, spending money I didn't have.

I'm just blessed and thankful to be alive and looking foward to the new year.

Over the break, I realized that I need to let go of my pursuit of ole dude...formerly Houston, formerly the boy, formerly The Russian etc.

He's just way too inconsiderate and I'm tired of always being blamed for his shortcomings. I'm tired of his excuses, and his inability to take responsibility for his actions. I realize now that we are better off as friends until he grows up, and then we can try again.

I guess, in a way he tried to tell me he wasn't the one. My persistance got me into this mess...but I'm determined to get myself out. I've been praying about it, and everytime I have a lingering thought of him I ask God to "remove the longing". I don't want him completely removed from my life because he is a good friend. I DO, however, want any romantic thoughts and feelings to dissipate until he gets his shit together and can pursue me like a real man.

I am worthy of true love. I deserve it, and one day it will come. Patience is indeed a virtue, and I bet I will have one of the best fairy tales to tell my kids one day.

Oh, and don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to blame him for us not working...I blame him for not admitting fault and trying to fix it. I blame him for not trying to reach out me...He told me about a month ago that he could sense the end of our friendship...he told me that if it ended, it'd be my fault because I wouldn't reach out to him. Sorry buddy...you're prediction was only half true. I've done nothing BUT try for a whole damn year...OH WELL...

No use crying over a nigga I never had in the first place. WOrd to the wise...inconsiderate behavior will get you no where with ANY WOMAN unless the bitch is dumb.

I'd like to think we'll always be friends, but I'm tired of trying...time to move on....

Anyhoo...TOODLES

P.S. We had some good times, but it wasn't fun while it lasted! Oh, and friendship is a reciprocal situation. The sooner he grasps that concept, the better off he'll be.

This song sums up our twisted relationship/friendship to a mother fuckin TEE and I never noticed til today, but I've known this song since it came out..."Nothing Lasts Forever" by Maroon5 (auto play taken off...visit imeem.com to hear full song)


"It is so easy to see disfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls before the sadness kills us both
I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last, but I don't know
I just don't know"

Chorus:
"Everyday...with every word whispered we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way"

AND IT IS...at least for me right now!

New Do......

Just wanted to share some pics of the new look that I will have for approximately 13 days. I will gradually go shorter and shorter....but yeah...I like it a lot. Mama says I look like a black barbie doll...hmmm...I'm not new to the Asian bang thing, but my hair hasn't been this long in like 2.5 years...seriously...And I actually like my hair short. I didn't want to be to picky tho, because the beautician didn't start styling me til 10:30pm...and hadn't gotten to my mom yet. We were the last two people in there and I was READY to GO!!!!!! So yeah...oh, and I wish my bangs were a little longer. Oh well, I'll know next time!

HI THERE

*I look hella relaxed and happy....(I really wasn't...I was pissed), but I want to give the facade that I'm in chill-mode for the time being.*


Hey y'all!! Sorry for the lack of updates, but I've had technical issues with my pc (that is working now...for the moment), and I'm also studying for dreaded FINALS, but I decided to take a break for a minute to relax...So yeah, check out Beyonce's song, "Halo" off of her I Am...Sasha Fierce album...my friend Bennie put me on it!! Great song...reminds me of my boo when he's not trippin.

Pray for me that I do well on my finals tomorrow. I have 2.5 tests to take (Chem @ 8am, Genetics @ 10:45 and a retake in genetics). I need a B in genetics and at least a C in Chem...like FOR REAL! My GPA, my stint at UAB, and my sanity depend on these two grades!!! After these exams, I will be FREE again until Jan.7th!!! I hope all of you are well! I will be making blog rounds after 12pm tomorrow...or later...I'm sure you understand, lol.

Love y'all! Peace...OH, and HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY, EBD!! I love ya! :-)

Anyhoo...

Halo - Beyoncé

Press Play To Listen!

Can't Get Right...The Frustration of 11/9 til Now...

So I've bet you've noticed that I've been gone for about a week...besides having a nervous breakdown Sunday night...my computer decided it wanted to ACT THE ASS, once again, and now good friends, I am without a pc for the umpteenth time.

The AC adapter is shot. But I ordered a new one on Monday and am expecting it very soon (fingers crossed). Exams are approaching, and though this is a time for study, if my computer issues get straightened out, I plan to blog regularly, because honest to God, this stuff is relaxing.

I'm blogging from a desktop pc in my dorms computer lab right now, and I feel like I'm being watched even though there's no one in the room...I hate it, but I just had to let y'all know why I've been gone.

But yeah, this week can be chalked up as one of the worst ever thus far...Broke down on Sunday, Crammed for a genetics test on Monday/ didn't get to turn in my Calculus computer assignment, Tuesday was just whack, Wednesday was blah (a ray of sunshine was the kid I tutor, but I found out he's moving to Florida...so :-( . Then I forgot I signed up to make gingerbread houses for this habitat for humanity thing....OMG! Not only did I have to buy stuff for the house (with money I didn't have), but I felt like I was being rushed...I wanted to scream last night. Today I had my Chem 2 Lab Final exam...I think I did the best I could (which ain't bad), considering 80% of the questions were vague as hell....whatevs

So yeah...I talked to some old flings and my boo of course...I GOTTA post that picture once my pc is back up...I don't care anymore...

But tell me why is it that when you find someone you wanna get serious with, all the dudes from your past (or females in the guys cases) wanna come back and try to holla...like they got radar or some shit and are like, "Oh, I was just checkin on you...how you been?" I'm like, "Jigga, you wasn't studying me 2 wks ago when I was all alone...did I just randomly cross your mind?" Which I'm sure is the case, but it's just so weird how the times synchronize like that...it's almost ANNOYING!!!! Anyhoo...I think that's enough for now. I love you all. Please keep me in your prayers. I used to think that I worked well under pressure until this week when my hair started fallin out because of the stress...It'll get better! November 25th (Thanksgiving Break) can't come soon enough!

The Devil Is Busy...

Yes he is...

Got the computer y'all...and came up here. Plugged it in to my school's internet connection and...BOOM!

So yeah, I have to head over to BestBuy and get them to re-install Windows XP on it. UAB is fuckin up BIG TIME!!!

I really would write from here (in my dorm's computer lab), but I just feel like I have NO privacy and that's not cool. So...yeah...periodic updates will have to do. I wanted to put y'all on some Raphael Saadiq tho (his new shit...it's only 30 seconds long tho). I love him so much. Anyhoo....yeah. I love y'all too...

TTYL!!

I'm Gone, but I'll be Back

aHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Y'all, I'm on hiatus. School is already kickin my ass, two weeks in. Pray for me. Hope all is well! :-)

Check it out

So, photobucket was being a bitch last night. I have no way of uploading pictures at work, so I'll try again later tonight. I took some really good pictures, and I'm thinking about taking photography up as a hobby or something.

Anyhoo...I basically ran down the first day of vacation for you with the "*Sigh*" Post. I think it'd be more appropriate to run down the vacation's events with the pictures I took that day, so as soon as I get all 120+ pictures up, I will run down with the stories. Monday was a hot-drama-filled mess!! But we looked cute tho!

For today, I'm going to post a meme I saw on Eb the Celeb's awesome blog. I love the vibe of that place. Sometimes I just go over there to chill and end up staying all day...but yeah...here's the meme thingy.

1. How many people have you kissed in 2008 that actually meant something?1
2. Were you happy when you woke up today?better today than I was Monday or yesterday. It’s hump day, and that means 4 more days til I move back to freedom.
3. Do you hate the last person you kissed?No. Quite frankly, I think he may be the 1st person I fall in love with
4. What are you listening to right now?the sound of trucks and cars passing by my office building
5. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?Yes
6. What would I find if I looked UNDER your bed?a bunch of shoe boxes, old papers, toys (from my child hood, okay!), dust, dead roaches, lol
7. What are you wearing?black pants, a stripey green, white, and black dress top, and some black pumps
8. Are you texting anyone right now?naw
9. Do you like anyone right now?yes
10. Have you ever kissed someone and never saw them again?Unfortunately, NO
11. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?yes. But I think I’ll pass
12. What can't you wait for?the 17th so I can move back to Birmingham and be on my own again
13. Have your parents ever smoked?No
14. Do you want someone back in your life?No, because I feel like, if the person left voluntarily they don’t need to be there in the first place. If they were taken from me, it happened for a reason
15. Who was the last person who called you? The Russian
16. Are you good at giving directions?Not really, but I’m good at following them
17. Would your parents be mad if you got pregnant /got someone pregnant?Yeah, it’s not something they want for me right now.
18. Rent a movie or go to movies?Going to the movies tonight as a matter of fact
19. What did you eat last?a Nature’s Valley Peanut bar…I’m addicted!

20. Has anyone told you they missed you lately?No, though I wish that person would. Maybe if I tell them first…
21. Is your ex still in your life as a friend?I don’t know where that fool is. Last I heard, he moved back to Atlanta and is a homeless bum
22. Are you wearing any clothes that don't belong to you?No
23. Would you ever steal someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend?No. Karma is a bitch
24. Mountains or the beach?beach
25. When was the last time you cried?For real for real, August 3, 2008 when I found out my boy Mario passed
26. Who's someone you miss?Mario Morgan. And I’ll never get to see him again...
27. How many times have you been in love?what is love?
28. How many times have you had your heart broken?I believe you can have your heart broken and not be in love, but maybe that’s just getting your feelings hurt…in any respect, I’d say twice…once it was shattered. It was healed, then someone came and disappointed me sorely, but it has since began to repair itself…
29. Do you hate people who are obsessed with things like High School Musical, Hannah Montana, and The Jonas Brothers?Liking them is one thing. Obsession is another. It’s annoying as fuck, that’s all I’m gonna say. And those Jonas Brothers are UGLY!
30. Have you ever spread a rumor about someone?Maybe…
31. Did you French kiss before you were 16?I was 15…lol
32. Who is the first person you think of when someone asks you who you like?The Russian
33. Have you ever liked someone who all your friends hate?Yes, once upon a time…lol and Kevin is his name-O.
34. Do you prefer to call or text someone?Depends on my mood. Texting is good to get a feel of if someone wants to talk…whereas if you call, you get shut down automatically if that person doesn’t feel chatty…
35. Were you bad in high school?No…I was good and different…but in a good way.
36. Would you take any of your ex's back?No. I can’t handle whiny, clingy dudes, and I can’t deal with people who ain’t bout shit and ain’t goin nowhere in life.
37. Do you cry over girls/boys?It happens…
38. At what age did you start noticing the opposite gender?Kindergarten
39. Are you happy with your love situation?Sorta…I can’t complain. I’m taking things slow with the hope that everything will work itself out. I just hope we don’t get tired of each other and start looking elsewheres this fall…we go to different schools. And eye-candy abounds in the form of FRESHmeat…
40. Last boy/girl to hurt you?The Russian, but things have since improved
41. Would you fail your drug and alcohol test?No because I don’t do drugs and I don’t drink…
42. Who's your favorite person to cuddle with?I haven’t cuddled in a WHILE….so I can’t answer that question honestly right now.

*Sigh*

Just quickly peeking my head in the door to let those of you who care know that I am alive. My vacation was less than enjoyable, but for the most part I can't complain, because unlike my dear friend Mario, Bernie Mac, or Isaac Hayes, I am alive to recount its events.

1) The first night of my vacation, I'm sitting by the pool, looking up at the stars and trying to relax and make the best of an already stressful, drama-filled vacation when I get a text from my friend from church. Skipping the dramatics of the texts, I call my friend and she proceeds to tell me that our friend, Mario had been killed early that morning. He was shot while trying to break up a fight. I don't know details beyond that. My heart dropped below the pit of my stomach if that's even possible. Mario...*sigh* we grew up having a thing for one another, but it was always the kiddy crush thing. But he was always so sweet to me. When I was going through my awkaward teenager phase (chubby, glasses, braces), he was one of the very few guys that told me I was pretty and meant it. He is the only guy that pegged me as an AKA when others stereotyped, saying my 11th grade year of high school, "Candice, you're gonna be an AKA. I just know it". He smiled and walked away. That was impressive to me...Mario never seemed to play into stereotypes, and I realize now that he looked on the INSIDE of people instead of the outside. Mario went into the service (Navy, Marines, one of em), and came back a changed man (from the goofy kid he was). He is survived by his mother Darlene, his younger sister Kelsey, and his baby girl Mariah. It's sad that she will grow up not really knowing what a great MAN her father was. Mario was such a kind hearted person, but I believe in his growing up stages, he caused his mother great pain. Even still, we all make mistakes, and Mario was well on his way to redeeming himself. You'd never think something like this would happen to someone who is genuinely GOOD. But it always happens to the good, the innocent by-standers. The guys he USED to hang out with would surely go before he did (we thought)...but we were wrong. Mario got killed trying to do something good, something right. Got caught in the cross-fire.

I ran into the condo, jumped in my bed, pulled the covers over my head and SOBBED. I wept and cried. I was HEEVING! My heart hurt so bad for that boy, because I just knew he was gonna make something out of his life. He had recently got engaged...he had so much life ahead of him. It breaks my heart to think about it. I missed his funeral (which was Saturday), because I was still in hell (vacation). Maybe it's for the best. I don't want my last memory of Mario to be of him in a coffin.

The last time I saw him was at church this summer. He was with his fiance'. I was walking in front of them. He said, "Hey Candice!" I turned around and he reached for a hug. I hugged him...

I'm so thankful I can remember him for the sweet guy he was.

I love you Mario Morgan. I will always remember our conversations, your laugh, your smile, how good of person you were, you...I miss you terribly already. I love you. Rest In Peace!

Also, condolences to Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes' families. These two GREAT Black American entertainers died within days of each other. It is a great loss to our community.

Man...this is one of the saddest Mondays of my life.

I plan on recapping the trip from day one. I'm to upload pictures tonight when I get home, and then I'll go from there. Also, I want to share a few pictures of Mario tomorrow if I can, a mini-tribute of sorts to my friend. I miss him so much y'all.

And of course, I gotta remember my boys Bernie and Isaac, so I'll have that up sometime soon too, hopefully. I just don't have the energy (physical or mental) today, y'all. I apologize. I am still in mourning and Mario died a week ago. But that's what happens when someone you care about leaves you. It just doesn't go away, and my mind keeps drifting back to that red, smiling face of his....*sigh*

I have a lot to say, but I'll hold it for now. Maybe blog-rounding will make me feel a little better. Keep me, the Jones-Morgan family, Bernie Mac's and Isaac Hayes' families in your prayers ALL this week. Mario was put to rest this weekend, but the journey is just beginning for the other two families. Prayer changes things.

--peace--

WOW!! Post 100!!

LOL...not really a big deal to me. Just like STG being a year old is not that big of a deal. This is an online diary MUCH!!! Anyhoo, I'll be away for a while. I'm going to TRY to enjoy myself in Orange Beach/Gulf Shores for a week with my family. Will it be hard? YES! These muhfukkas ALREADY starting drama and mess. Oh well...I'll hole myself up in one of those rooms and read/plan my semester out. It's all good. Pics of Isaac's lil birthday situation and the Beach Trip when I get back. So look for me on the 11th I suppose. Adios, Au revoir!!

I need a Break

...what the title says. I'll be back later. I'm just burned out, and I need a hug.

Random Updates on ya girl

While I sit here with a cough and cramps and looking at a few of my old posts, I want to make corrections, or rather changes to some things I previously mentioned in posts last year. There's really just 3 such corrections.

1) I don't have a thing for lite skin anymore (see this post right here) . I'm into chocolate/dark skinned brothers. Guys with hair/dreads are turn ons too... So my " life's devotion to a light-skinned man" is OVER. SOOOOOOORI!

2) The Caramel Zeus from an over-cooked vegetable (see this post) is, well not a caramel zeus, he is not nice or kind. He is rather stuck-up and arrogant. He is decently cute, but not someone I think I could be in a relationship with. He seems to be attracted to airheads and "nut-bucket ass hoes" (Fresh's term). Naw, really, if he is attracted to women, I wouldn't really know. But the girls that seem to be on his shit are hood and/or hoochie. Whatever.

3) I stand corrected. Not even a full year after I made this post, Beyonce' and Jay Z FINALLY got married, and the Creole Queen seems to be taking a much needed break from the lime-light, perhaps to give her lil sister Solange a chance to shine. But don't think she's down for the count, or that she'll be gone for long. With her vocals on Love in the Club Part II, it's clear that she was only warming up. When she does come out of her mini-hiatus, we better be ready for the fury. But for those who could care less about her (as do I), don't worry...she'll be over-exposed within months of her comeback.

SO yeah, I'm done. I need to go take some adv.il. DEUCE!

Long-Awaited Tatt Pics...

So...here they are...enjoy!!! --Outline of my tat...see the needle on the table back there?
It's on my inner calf...sexy ain't it...it ain't finished yet, boo!

Chell's belly-button ring!!!

LAST DAY OF WORK!!!

I can hardly believe that it is the middle of August, already. Seems like just yesterday I was saying, "Good Morning, it's August 1st!" Damn, where does time go? I really feel like summer just got started, and here it is the end...well at least for me.

Today marks my last day at work and I am SOOOOOOOOOOO glad! I love my job (been working here for two summers now), but I'm more in love with my school and I'm ready to get back to it! My second year promises to be an exciting, busy, fun, and interesting one. THERE IS SO MUCH TO GET INTO THIS FALL!!! Deltas, Ques, and Kappas are back on the yard! I'll be applying for the Minority Scholars Program soon, my first "task" as an acting auxillary member of Alpha Lambda Delta (Freshman Honor Society--an office I received last semester) begins as SOON as I get back to school!! There's so many other things going on too...

Like new roommates, a new dorm, a new year in Gospel Choir (we record in November), chances to make new friends, a new FOOTBALL season (I love ASU and UAB football even tho both teams sucked last year). I've made plans to become more involved on campus and I have a few tricks up my sleeve as to how I'm gonna do that. I also plan on becoming more socially interactive with my peers (that means GOIN TO THE CLUBS AND PARTIES). But I will still maintain my study ethic and "procastinating perfectionist" ways. I'm weird like that, but I think I can balance it...

It'd be nice to have a boo soon, but I'm not rushing anything cuz I don't want to get just any-old-body...A good B-U-D-D-Y would be nice. But yeahhh *sigh* I've already started packing and getting my ish in order as best I can. I still have shit to buy tho...(A MESS)...and I'm facing a transportation dilemma when it comes to getting my stuff up to Birmingham. And oh, let's not even talk about how I don't even know what floor I'm staying on! My dorm needs to get on its job!

UAB took forever getting the roommate assignments up so it was all of August 8th or 9th when I found out who I would be rooming with. I don't know any of the girls, and one of them is a junior *sigh*...I just hope no drama arises because of the age and "maturity" difference. There shouldn't be a difference, come to think of it. And I don't know which girl I will be sharing a side with.......As you can see, I have a lot on my mind right now...and I'll prolly be this way for a long time, but I'll be okay!

Tomorrow I'm set to get up with two of my DIAMONDS and hang out one last time before we head out across the southeast to our respective universities. We are supposed to be going out for ice cream...which is a treat much needed given the triple digit temperatures Alabama has been seeing for the past two weeks! But yeah...

PSA: DRINK WATER PEOPLE! IT MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE! IT'S HOTTTT OUT THERE!!! (i need to take my own damn advice too).

Tatted UP

Guess what, folks?! I got tatted up while on vay-cay *Shout-out to Lizzie at David's Counter Culture*. It's my very first tattoo and I am so excited about it! I seriously want about 3 more. My experience was cool. I mean, when I first got to the shop I was having second thoughts, but then this red-haired lady came up to me and asked me what she could help me with. I took it as a sign that God approved of me goin head and getting it. How this lady gone walk straight up to me and bypass all the folks that were in front of me (unless management told her to do that cuz I'm black...we were in GS).

Everybody I tell is surprised. They say, "GIRL, WHAT? YOU? You so goody-goody...I can't believe it!" And you know I'm over here rolling my eyes right? For the people who thought mama and daddy was gone trip and act the fool, they were okay with it. Mama took me to the shop and watched me get it done and everything. Daddy protested at first, but I quickly got him told on how tattoos don't define who you are as a person. You define the tattoo. I think he is still disappointed, but he can't lie and say it ain't pretty. (And it's really simple, has a definite purpose, and ain't all big and gaudy)

The tattoo itself is my nickname given to me by my granny (mom's mom) ~Candy Cane~. My granny has only called me by my God-given name maybe twice in my 19 years...so Candy Cane is what I am to her. The tatt is in cursive letters on my inner calf. I chose the location for several reasons, but the main one is because that's where I wanted it...that simple. This specific tattoo is actually part of something greater (continuation piece). I will be adding on to this tattoo for a while. The next installation will be two candy canes interlocked to form a heart.

Anyway, I love my tattoo!!!! Oh and it didn't hurt that bad. I mean, I do have a high tolerance for pain, but it really wasn't that bad...I PROMISE. So if anyone is thinking of getting one, but is skeptical because of the pain factor, all I can say is MAN UP! lol....if u really want a tatt, you should just go for it...I know I (Ms. Goody Two Shoes) did!

Also, I wanna mention that my cuz Chell got her belly-button pierced the same day and it turned out nicely. I will have pics up ASAP.

P.S.
I was in a Journeys store and saw a shirt that said: "Jesus loves me and my tattoos" haha! Yes He does! If I see that shirt again, Imma get it!