Not Into Speed-Dating

First, I would like to start this post off by stating that I am not talking about the conventional means of speed-dating...the whole going to some location, sitting down at a table and having random people sit at the other seat across from you and try to get to know you in 15 minutes (or less). NO, I'm not talking about that shit, because my life hasn't come to a place where I need to speed-date in that manner at the age of 20.



I'm talking about rushing into a damn relationship out of guilt or pressure. That USED to be me when I was a young teen. These guys would guilt me out of my good sense, and I'd be booed up with them, only to find that they were messing with other girls as well. My problem was that I could NEVER say no to these dudes. They made me feel so bad with their sob stories...I gave in like a dummy and always ended up regretting the shit. What it comes down to is that I was letting them take advantage of me. I was naiive.

So now, at the tender age of 20, I find myself in similar situations, but things are different this time around. I've learned that even though I'm caught up emotionally with the boy, to keep my options WIDE open...

Anyhoo..back to the point at hand. In January of this year, I found myself in a situation with a guy that goes to my school. We fooled around or whatever...to my dissatisfaction...but I guess this dude doesn't have much experience with females, because he can't pick up on the OBVIOUS clues that I don't want to deal with him like that. He's a cool person, but I'm not physically attracted to him anymore...haven't been since that day he came to my room! We never clicked on any other levels, so honestly, I don't get why he's still so persistant. It is THE LAST MONTH of the year, and dude still texting me. No, I'm not going to send you pictures of me! No, I don't want to see your naked dick!! I told him a long time ago I was involved with someone, guess he doesn't care...ass hole!!

The next guy, was this guy I met at a school function. He was cute, or whatever. He asked for my number, I gave it to him. You know, no big deal. I stopped assuming every guy that talked to me wanted to get in my draws a long time ago. He didn't give off that vibe. Okay, so he calls or whatver...and we really have very little in common so I get bored quickly. He wants to get lunch one day, so I invite him to my dorm for some chicken wings and shit. He comes in my room sweaty and hot from walking across campus, plops down on my bed, lays on my AKA pillow like a fool...DUDE!! WTF??! Then he's rubbing all on my back and shit! First of all, WTFB?!?! WHat are you doing? Let's just say, that was the end of that shit. I saw him the other day and he goes, "You been hiding from me, haven't you?"! I wanted to say HELL YEAH...but I kept it moving.

The last dude is really a piece of work. He messaged me randomly on facebook and stuff at the beginning of the fall semester...and then we found out we stayed in the same dorm. Dude has been on my ass like crazy, but since he is kinda flirty with a lot of females, again I tried not to assume that he was trying to get the booty. Okay....extremely long story short...I was at a party this past Thursday, and this dude straight up cornered me in a bathroom, locked the door and asked me why he didn't have a chance with me, when CLEARLY I had told him 10 minutes before that I didn't see him in that way. Then he facebook-chatted me yesterday and was like, "Why did you run from me at the party?" I was like....I wasn't running, dude. He was like, "I wanted to take advantage of you when we were in that bathroom, but I controlled myself". Something inside me went off like an atom bomb. I told him that what he had just written was NOT something you tell a female! You don't know what my past was like, if I've been "taken advantage of" before. He was like, "I don't see what's wrong with me expressing the way I feel". I was like, "That's just something you don't say. It sounds really bad!" Then he proceeds to tell me that he finally got a chance to take a peek at my ass in " those tight pink jeans" I had on at the party. WTF?!?! Nigga, you sick!

So I give you these scenarios to say this: None of these young men ever approached me in the right way. All they did was initiate conversations. From there they went assuming that since I say, "hey" back I want them to jump my bones, marry me, or be my lover. None of them ever took the time to get to know me....all conversations revolved around them and their freaky fantasies (guy #1), their boring life in general (guy #2), or their boring freaky life (guy #3). Questions about me centered around me getting involved with them in some kind of manner. I think guy #2 wouldn't have been so bad if he wouldn't have made such a bad impression in my room that time. You just don't lay your hot, stankin, sweaty body down on somebody's bed like that, ESPECIALLY when you don't even really know them!

I feel like these guys were trying to rush me into relationships without getting to know me first, and this pisses me off. I'm more than just a pretty face, and I'm WORTH getting to know!! None of them EVER asked if I was involved with someone else...I mean, what happened to dudes asking up front, "You got a man??" I mean, they don't do it anymore and I think it's because they don't care...OH BUT THEY SHOULD! Guy #3 is learning the hard way, because I think I hurt his little pride IN PUBLIC at that party. He should have come correct!

I told Guy #1 I was involved a while back, and he ignored...I mean, what do these fools want me to do? They all have good friendship qualities, but they'd rather skip that and jump head first into a FUCKED up relationship...and I'll be damned if I become a statistic on UAB's campus! That's why i don't fuck with UAB dudes now!

The moral of the story is: in order to get with me, there has to be an initial connection (check), and an ESTABLISHED friendship (all were lacking). Therefore, certain details about our lives should be shared...not forced out. My longest lasting, and best relationships blossomed out of real, true friendship...Like the one my hunny and I share now. We've been friends since '06...we KNOW each other, and most importantly, we are COMFORTABLE around each other! That's what I'm looking for. I heard it somewhere..."Comfort is the only thing in your life you have control over." You control what your environment is 9 times out of 10 and whether or not you can deal with the setting...That's my point.

So to those 3 guys, and others who may potentially want to try me...I'm not into that quick shit! Get to know me first, and then we'll talk (LITERALLY!)!!!

Shout-outs to my REAL homeboys: EB, Mar, Bran, Juan, BMC, Quin, Merl, and Bookie

And to my BOO: HOUSTON!!!!!!

FINALLY!!! Beach Recap 1: Monday--August 4th

PRE-CURSOR:
For the past 8 or 9 years, my family has ventured to Gulf Shores/Orange Beach for a little fun. The past two years have been something else...us staying at one of the most bourgois condos in Orange beach, Phoenix on the Bay II. This needs to be our LAST year going down here. It's fun...but frankly, it's getting old. People call it the "Redneck Riviera" because of all the racist whites out there...Plus it's Obama season y'all. I ain't tryna die on no subsequent vacations!! Please believe! anyhoo, enjoy these pics real quick before I get into what happened on Monday.


Phoenix on the Bay II


Big Timing. It costs thousands of dollars to stay here for a couple of days. We do it for a week. But trust, it wasn't easy. We started saving for this trip last year, right after we got off the last one.


The infamous slide


I take damn good pictures!


The condo across the way. Not nearly as grand as our property


Another view



So... my recap of summer vacation starts with Monday, August 4, 2008--the day one of my best friends in the world turned the BIG 21!!!

Birthday Girl!!!!


My hunny lives in these parts in a town about 10 minutes outside of Gulf Shores. Initially he and I were supposed to rendevous on this vacation, but that never happened as he decided to return to H-ville early in preparation for the new school year. Sucks for me, right? So the plan for the day was to get up with Gemini's (formerly The Russian) best friend (whom my cousin is "talking to") and some of his boys to show Quanita a great time on her 21st birthday. So we start getting ready around 1pm (well I do, because I had to go to the bank with my mom). The guys were supposed to come get us around 4pm. There was already some confusion and ambiguity about that because dude, I will call him "Redd", drives a Mustang...and he was already gonna be 3 deep...A mustang will NOT hold 6 people comfortably...well not a convertible anyways. Redd just kept going on and on about how he wanted his cousin "Big Boy", and homie "Squint" along for the fun. I was skeptical as to why the extra body was needed, since I wasn't looking for anyone to kick it with. Quanita was supposed to hang with Squint, and my cousin Chell with Redd...I was gonna be fifth wheel, but wasn't worried about it. Whatevs...I'd just call Gemini and talk to him or something.

But yeah...we get ready and are looking fly:

Chell lookin like a hot tamale, dressed in red for Redd...


Wuddup, BIH!?

So yeah, we lookin fly and what not. Smelling good, excited, nervous, the whole 9 (mind you, we had never met ANY of these guys before, but cuzzo had been talkin to Redd on the phone for about a month). So 4pm rolls around, y'all...and I swear!! Chell calls Redd to ask him where he is...this NEGRO has the audacity to say he's waiting on his cousin or some bull shit. Nigg, you supposed to BEEN in Orange Beach at 4...you ain't EVEN LEFT THE HOUSE!!!

So Chell gets in bitch mode, pissed off cuz the nigga ain't doin what he said he was gone do. Plus time's a tickin and we were trying to get out ASAP as to get the most out of our little adventure to come. So there we are, all laying on my bed watching Disney Channel, waiting on these fools. My ass fell asleep...I think Quan drifted off too...

Y'all...it was 7 O CLOCK before these mufuckas showed up!!! Okay, so the "day light" is damn near gone!!! When they got to Orange Beach, they ended up going to the wrong property. They were at POB I instead of POB 2. We went all downstairs looking for these niggas, and they're in the wrong place!!! They finally made their way to our floor, and when we got there, they were just standing there looking dumb and bored. Very attractive, the 3 of them tho. I didn't take pics of them for a few reasons I won't discuss.

Anyway, Redd and Big Boy looked mixed, so we surely thought they were apart of a family staying at POB 2, Squint (I thought) was just their homeboy they'd asked to come hang out or something. It occurred to me slightly that the guys may be the Motley Crew we'd been waiting 3 hrs for, but shit, I was pissed so I breezed right by all three of their asses, went inside the condo and slammed the door behind me...OOPS, strike 1, My bad!

So...Quan follows me in, and then Chell. These niggas knocked and I said, "That's probably them..."and rolled my eyes. Chell started acting EXTRA brand new and put on this front like, "I ain't telling them to come in!" I'm like, ain't this what you been waiting for for a MONTH and 3 hrs!?!? She goes out and gets the boys. They all walk in OUR condo without speaking and head straight for the living room area. Niggas plop down on a couch and tell Chell to tell us to "Come out". Me and Quanita look at each other then get up and head out. Quanita is REALLY quiet so she never has much to say. That was expected. I spoke, she mumbled something and then I sat down.

WHEN I SAY THAT BITCH WAS DEAD!!!! Nobody was talking, not even Chell or Redd to each other. I was so confused, cuz ok...you got the nigga over here, and had OH SO MUCH to say, cussing him out on the phone and stuff, and then when he's in your presence, you are on MUTE!? FOR REAL?!? That pissed me off ROYALY!! So me, being the most socially concious, I strike up a convo. I say, "So who are y'all??" These niggas think they runnin game, so they switch out names, well, at least Redd and Big Boy do, as to confuse Chell of which red-boy she is actually talkin to. A conversation was sparked...OH IT WAS SPARKED ALRIGHT!! And all hell broke loose from there!!

Jesus, Redd is a schitzo, I believe. One minute he was cool, calm and collected. The next he is yelling at me, saying I got an attitude, when I'm just trying to make conversation with his crazy ass. He goes off on some tangent because I mentioned that I thought he'd be taller from the pics Chell and I saw on facebook. I think I embarrassed him. BUT SHIT, they were ALL short...and uhhh...we were too. HE GOT MAD, Y'ALL!!! Strike 2 on me....Oh Lord, strike 3 is where the shit hit the fan for real...

So, I'm already semi-perturbed with Chell's lack of conversation and self-imposed put on and shyness...then Redd's ass hauls off talking bout "so what we doin"? We (me, Chell, and Quan) all start speaking at once. "WE thought WE were going somewhere tonight!" Then Chell wanna speak up talking about how she thought we were supposed to be going shopping, out to eat, and to a movie. Redd scoffs (LAUGHS, y'all), and is like, "How 6 folks gone fit up in my Mustang?" I roll my eyes. Was he serious. So you came up in this bitch with no plan and NO apologies....then he did the unthinkable! This nigga asked me what we had to eat. Was like, "We should order pizza!!" To lighten the mood, I jokingly stated, "you payin?" OH MY GOODNESS!! I should have NOT said that...I should have kept my damn mouth closed. This fool launches a verbal assault on me. Getting all upset and excited talking bout I'm disrespecting him, I have an attitude, all this bull. Then he has the fucking NERVE to compare me to Gemini's ex, whom I have no official BEEF with, but let's just say we don't care for each other. I know of her, and she knows of me...

But hold up homie...Redd, I DON'T KNOW YOU AT ALL!!! Who the fuck did he think he was buckin up on me and comparing me to that girl?!?! He said, "you remind me of someone...OH!!! Gemini's ex...you know her don't you...yeah, you got an attitude just like her" and he made a stank face! OMG, y'all I bout peed in my pants and shed a tear at the same time! Now how would he have felt if I started comparing him to Chell's ex who she STILL has communication with. I know if Redd knew that he would have a hissy fit.

I texted Gemini these words: "Your boy is crazy" and he called me wanting to know what was goin on...I didn't have much to say at the time. Y'all honestly I was shocked and appauled, I was upset and heated that his ass arrived at our condo late and subsequently wasn't planning on taking us anywhere. We hadn't eaten since breakfast early that morning and this nigga is asking us to PAY for a pizza that he and his cronies are probably gonna try to eat up themselves!!

I laughed Redd's verbal assault off, but I was truly hurt and offended and all Gemini did was laugh. I felt defeated, and I felt the stinging tears welling up in my eyes. I didn't shed A one tho...

So skipping stupid shit, Redd gets Chell to the back. I'm still on the phone with Gemini. I go back there too...Redd gets on my phone talking to Gemini telling him I got a bad attitude and I'm showing out. I'm like, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS NIGGA, REALLY?!?!?!?"

Ok...so skipping other stupid shit, you know, him whining to his boys, talking bout he ready to go cuz I (SHY) has an attitude with him and he don't feel like being disrespected! I'm seriously confused at where all this hostility is coming from at this point. He then tells Chell, privately of course that he is just causing a scene to get HER in the back ALONE with him. She tells him if that's the case, he should apologize...

When he finally decided to stop being an ass and apologize, I honestly still wasn't feelin that shit. I accepted, but was highly put-off for the rest of the night. When the folks (my Mom, aunt, and Grandma and the kids) got back we (as in, me, Chell, Quan, and the guys) went down to the Bay.

Chell and Redd ran off into the look-out tower and that is where they stayed for the next 2-2.5 hours. Quanita and I chatted it up with the actual COOL dudes, Big Boy and Squint. If it weren't for them being cool enough to chill with, I would have holed myself in that condo for the REST of the night. They even apologized to Quan for her lack luster b-day, but she claimed she had fun. Whatevs. It don't take much to please Lil Bit!

Anyhoo...the last bit of this horrendous night occurs after the guys leave. We still hadn't eaten A THING...so my mom offers to take us to McDonalds. Boy I was still heated. I decided to confront Chell about that stupid shit her lil boo pulled at the condo. I was EXTREMELY nice and calm about it, but I let her know that if she did anything else with him over the course of the week to count me out, cuz I didn't feel comfortable around him. I guess this made her mad or something. She defended him a lil and said, "Well I like him, and I had fun". I was like, "That's good." What the fuck did she want me to say. I'm glad you had fun, boo...but I don't care!

So yeah, we get back to the condo and she hops her happy ass on the phone with that idiot...and when she gets off, she has this NASTY, funky ass attitude...WITH ME!!!! Like I did something to HER! I guess he told her that if she cared so much about what I thought about him, she shouldn't talk to him...and I guess that pissed her off. Guess she thought I was fuckin up her chances because I was being too sensitive or something. What the fuck ever! I now know that this girl will definitely put a nigga BEFORE family!! And she ain't even known him for that long, that's what's CRAZY!!!

I digress y'all. This shit had me stressed. She woke up Tuesday morning with a 'tude too, but by the time it was time for us to go to the mall, we smoothed that shit out and she gave me a big hug. i dropped that shit off in the Bay of my mind, because I was DETERMINED to have a great trip, despite Eve's curse coming at the most inopportune time, despite Mario's untimely death, and despite the hellish drama of Monday. And guess what?

Shit got better from there!! More later!!

Damn, y'all I'm sorry, but...

Bad news is abounding today. While Scumbucket Robert Kelly gets acquitted for shit that he actually did, Tim Russert, host of NBC's Meet The Press died TODAY.

Click the Link for the story. This is so sad, because I liked this dude man. I didn't watch his show fa real, but he seemed like a fair kinda guy when it came to interviewing major political leaders, Democratic and Republican alike. Me and my dad were just talking about how cool duke was, how he seemed to be rooting for Obama and stuff (even if secretly, I sensed it). Regardless of where he stood on political views, it is always sad to see a TV personality of his caliber die.

My condolences go to his family, friends, and co-workers. This is crazy. Jesus is on his way y'all...we gotta get it together. What a Friday the 13th this is turning out to be. I think I AM staying in tonight. SHEESH!!!

R.I.P. Man...

Uhhh....

I was RIGHTEOUSLY not going to post anymore today until I recently found out via Funky Black Chick's blog (check my favorite blogs list) that mother fuccin Robert Kelly has been found NOT guilty on ALL charges brought up against him. Click this link for the story.



^^^ Your clothes and your face should be looking like this right now....Motherfucker, I swear! Look, I don't claim to be perfect, and please excuse my foul language everybody, but this shit boils my blood! I am 38 HOT right now! Fuck that!

And I know with my ranting this is no time to bring up God, but may He have mercy on your shitty soul! God is NOT gonna keep allowing you to make these same foul mistakes. Something is SERIOUSLY wrong with you, and you need HELP! Stop denying your problem. It is only a matter of time before you end up in a wooden box instead of a metal cell. God doesn't keep giving people like you chance after chance after chance. I have seen it happen before. People fuck up numerous times and God says, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and cuts their life SHORT.

You are not immune to this happening. I am so pissed, because the world should be missing something right now. Another child molestor should have been behind bars, and the world would be a better place for it. And it's a shame too, cuz you are so talented. But you are WASTED TALENT by far! I don't usually wish harm on people, and I guess I'll refrain, but man....GET IT TOGETHER, and may God have mercy on you at the cross roads.

And I'm out!