So....

My soror and friend La.v.ad.a put me on this dude's youtube channel from Montgomery. His name...is Mr. Grind, and he's pretty darn funny!! He has an alter ego named Rico, and I want to show y'all this video...ENJOY!



Those fake "tears" were killing me softly...can you imagine kissing this Rico dude? HA! and then at the end of the song he's like he don't give a got damn that he fell! REALLY?!?! Anyhoo!! Hope you enjoyed it! Happy Thursday!!!

Charlie Bit me...

If you've never seen the orginal...I will post that one first...



"Ouch Charlie, that really HURT!!!!"

Now watch this one!!! LOL



Satan talking to the baby: "Listen to me Charlie, this is Satan. Your brother will tempt you. Bite him hard and don't let go"

HILARIOUS!!! HAPPY FRIDAY, ALL!!!! :-)

ROaCh Stories

I found these stories a while back on a message board I used to frequent. This shit had me rolling...I can relate, because my grandma in GA used to have roaches something terrible, and I swear one of them bitches bit me and gave me a rash that I have to this day!!! Anyhoo, enjoy!!


Story 1:
"son i'm dying right now because this shit is mad true...my thing is i don't even think its always a matter of them trying to front and hoping you dont see it...i honestly think it's so prevalent they dont even notice like that, it becomes a natural part of the decorum in the crib....


boom i remember back in the days i met this girl at black expo, we exchanged numbers and kicked it on the horn for a week or so before we actually decided to meet up at her place in brownsville for a movie night...soon as i stepped in her lab there were like three roaches parlaying on the pre-requisite wooden fork and spoon on the kitchen wall so i knew this was going to be trouble...we sit on the couch and [ZOOM!] two more race across the coffee table, i said "oh shit!" in shock at their raw speed and how they chillin in large numbers like niggas...she was like, "don't worry they aint gonna bother you"...turned out the lights, popped the movie in and got cozy on the couch next to me...


so after a while we're kissing and i'm an eyes open kisser, yo once i went for her neck? BOOM, i peep one on the wall above her couch, duke was brolic and his antennaes were moving like thunder sticks, i was shook son...so anyway she backed off the kissing like, we're moving too fast and i was good with that because i needed to keep my eyes on that damn wall...well the movie diverted my attention from him for a few minutes and the next thing you know i felt something on my neck...i jumped up screaming, "AH SHIT, THE ROACH JUMPED ON ME YO! THE ROACH! A FUCKIN ROACH!" while i jumped up and down and ran in circles like a little kid....it was then i realized that my hoody string was up on my shoulder and fell down grazing my neck....after that it was a wrap to say the least, she was mad embarrassed...she said, "well, i'm kinda tired sooo"...and i was like, "yeah me too" and i bounced out of there with the quickness...once i got outside i went into a blimpie's bathroom and took off all my clothes and shook them shits out thoroughly...we never kicked it again, i'm itchin right now just thinkin about it smh.…"--Claude


Story 2:
"smh you know you got a roach prolem when you dont give a fuck about roaches no more....I dont even bother pickin up dead roaches no more....they all over in random places...yall woulda thought some roaches detonated a suicide bomb while they homies was parlaein in my crib....I found one in my fridge mane....and I was thinking....how the fuck.....ahhh....never mind.....and shut that shit and continued my day....smh"
--Vance

Hump Day Funny

This was fowarded to me via text just a second ago...

" 2 prostitutes were walking. 1 said, 'Girl we gonna get PAID TONIGHT!!!! I can smell dick in the air!' The other laughed and said, 'Bitch, I burped' " !



Sorry I just thought that was funny...

You Know You're Addicted-FACEBOOK EDITION

Top 25 Qualifiers WITH commentary!!!!

1) You converse with other people more on their 'walls' than in person (haha...it's been done)
2) You go emo when someone takes you off their friends list ( I admit, I used to be like this, and it still bothers me when my friends count goes down, even by 1. I'm like WTF de-friended me?)
3) You ask people to join even though you know they won't use it (BOBBY!!!)
4) You get on facebook before you go to work, which puts you on there before 7am (that's me!)
5) You deactivate your account, then reactivate it, then deactivate, then reactivate it again...don't bother trying to leave (QUIN and Bony)
6) You stalk people that you are secretly in love with, the news feed assists in that. But hey, stalking on "Da Book" is not seen as "sketchy"...so do you...(rolls eyes)
7) You're married on facebook, but not in real life (What kind of shit? Tho I've seen it before, I just don't understand it).
8) You take pics just to put them on Facebook, then you wanna tag everybody and EVERYTHING (including inanimate objects) in the damn picture. (I DO NOT TAG, unless it's me or I want the tagged person to take notice of the picture, otherwise, you tag yourself!).
9) You are a sophomore/junior at your college, yet you have over 1000 friends there. How the hell do you know all of those people? Oh, wait! You DON'T! You friend people to up your count! Then you see these people in public and don't know who they are well enough to speak. I got the right mind to delete your ass!
10) You know about your friend's break-up before they can finish crying about it because of the little broken heart icon that popped up on the news feed.
11) You are routinely introduced to people and have to pretend like you don't know them. Uhhh....this happened a few times, but SERIOUSLY, just speak up for goodness sake!
12) You are pissed facebook is turning into myspace. MYFACE....BOO!!!! I prefer facebook pre-2007. It was a simpler time, when you had to have a valid college email address to join. I was ecstatic about joing in Nov. of 06 when I got my acceptance letter into UAB and was able to create my email/ID...but then, facebook got greedy, and now 10 year olds are friending me, and it's ANNOYING!
13) The only reason you check your email is to see if you need to check facebook. Guilty as charged!
14) You use the word "facebook" as a verb (i.e. I'm going to 'facebook' Brian when I get to the house vs. looking him up on facebook). I'm guilty of using "facebook" as a verb.
15) You are one of few people who use facebook chat (which is LAME!! And you are lame for using it...yeah I'm talking to you...YOU!)
16) Your profile has so many applications on it that it takes several minutes (more like 10) to load. Please get a life if your profile takes more than 2 minutes to load. I understand that you may have video/slideshow/ and bumperstickers. But that entourage shit is just UNECESSARY!!!
17) Your usual bed time has shifted by two or more hours because you are on facebook so much. GUILTY!
18) You use facebook mobile...UHHH why? YOU ARE ADDICTED, HANDS DOWN, IF YOU DO!! No message or update is THAT important!
19) You feel popular when someone tags you in a photo. It shows others that you do in fact have a life and that it's pretty fun!
20) You can't wait to poke, superpoke, or attack as many friends as you have with the werewolves, vampires, ninjas, and all them other bullshit applications! OMG! People...for real? I had some niggas try to get me with that shit. And it's hella annoying! Oooh I get burned up just thinking about it!
21) As soon as you meet someone in real life, you go home to search for them on the Book.
22) You affectionately refer to facebook as "FB", "Da Book [the Book]" or "CrackBook". ME!
23) You think wishing someone "happy birthday" on their wall is suffice. Uhh, I do this all the time. As U-U put it, "It's not official unless it's on facebook". The world has to know you care about this person. If you can't pick up a phone and dial/text, there's always facebook! Plus there's no excuse to forget because facebook reminds you.
24) You are disappointed when you click on a person's picture only to find that you can't access their personal info because you are not their facebook friend or in their network. I have my shit set like that for a reason. Too many random niggas and females friending me...NO!
25) You constantly do things to your profile so that you will show up in your firends' news feed more, and hopefully thier friends will see your name, and those who know you will become friends with you. It's a vicious cycle, I tell you. I'm sorta guilty!!!

If you have a facebook, you can NOT tell me that it doesn't get addictive at times, especially around the holidays! Hello, my name is Candice, and I'm addicted to CrackBook.

HAHA

YOU KNOW YOU GHETTO!!! Top 25 Qualifiers

I KNOW Y'ALL REMEMBER THIS SONG!!!

Just for shits and giggles...

1) You call your mama by her first name.
2) Your mother did your hair in the kitchen.
3) You take bubble baths with dishwashing liquid, shampoo, or liquid detergent.
4) You save bacon grease.
5) You have a drawer in your kitchen just for condiments from fast-food restaurants.
6) There are more guests at your reception than at the wedding.
7) You add "ED" or "T" to the end of words already in past tense (i.e. tooked, light-skinneded, kilt, killeded, ruint, tolt).
8) The batteries in your remote are held in place with tape.
9) Roaches! They only come out when company comes over, as if to show out. And your children view them as pets and have given them names
10) You wear the following: Brute, Hai Karate, Jean Nate, Old Spice, Chloe, English Leather, Charlie, Faberge'.
11) You use Tussy.
12) You refer to the hair at the nape of your neck as your "kitchen".
13) You've ever dropped anything and kissed it up to God before eating it.
14) You mispronounce these words as such:
a) skrimps, strimps, or swimps=shrimp (note: there is no "s" on the end regardless)
b) rutch=roach
c) urnge=orange
d) wallah=water
e) skreet (or any other str word for that matter)=street
f) axe=ask
g) look-dead=looked
h) member=of or pertaining to a recollection (e.g. y'all member that time...?)
i) spiskettis=spaghetti
j) showliz=sure is
k) nem or nim (the South)=contraction for "them" (i.e. I can't wait til Marquita nem get here.)
15) Ketchup is used on anything other than a hot dog, fries, or burgers
16) You pop or crack your gum
17) You eat chitterlings (chitt'lins) period.
18) You eat these ghetto snacks: PORK RINDS, CHITTERLINGS, MOONPIES WITH COKE, PISTACHIOS, SUNFLOWER SEEDS, PUMPKIN SEEDS, LICORICE, SALT 'N VINEGAR CHIPS, NOW 'N LATERS, JUICE-FILLED WAX, PIXIE STIX, TWISTERS, BOM POPS, PUSH-UPS, MARY JANES, LEMON HEADS, BOSTON BAKED BEANS, MR. SOFTEE, REDHOTS, FREEZPOPS, CHICK O STIX, SNOWBALLS, JIFFY POPS, CHEEZ WHIZ, POP-TARTS, CANDY STUCK TO PAPER, BLOWPOPS, CANDY NECKLACES, JAWBREAKERS, SUGAR DADDY, SUGAR MAMA, SUGARBABIES.
19) You drink these ghetto beverages: YOO-HOO, MALT LIQUOR, TAHITIAN TREAT, SUGAR WATER, FANTA ORANGE, RED KOOL- AID, RED DOG, ANYTHING RED, .99 A GALLON ANYTHING, TAB, FRESCA, WATER ICE, STRAWBERRY SODA, PINEAPPLE SODA, CREAM SODA.
20) You and your friends get your picture taken in front of the wicker fan chair at the club.
21) You've ever been beaten with an extension cord.
22) Your children don't know the words to "Punchinella" or "Miss Mary Mack, but they know ALL the lyrics to Lil' Wayne's Lollipop.
23) You thought that you were a gymnast because you could do a high flip on a pissy mattress that somebody threw out.
24) You've ever played "red-light-green-light", "giggalo", or "hide-and-go-get-it".
25) You've ever cheated in a game of "Mother-May-I?"

ETA: I'm ghetto as hell!!! My cousins are ghetto, my whole family is GHETTO!!! The only thing that I have never experienced or witnessed is calling my mama by her first name. That's asking for a slap in the mouth. How ghetto are you?!!

There is ALWAYS some Truth in Hilarity

Take this comment, for instance, made by a person under the alias of Lo.uis Far.rak.han in reference to the R.Kelly acquittal situation:

R. Kelly could rape the cast of Golden Girls in Times Square and get away with it at this point. Nigga is untouchable. He'd probably dress them up as cheerleaders and pee in their diapers first, but rape is rape.
-Lo.uis Far.rak.han

Okay, I initially laughed my ass off at this statement. Because it is seemingly true in that R.Kelly has managed to make the general public believe he is some crazed sex pervert who can't get it from women within his own age range...Also, he seems to be impervious to serving time for his crazed sexual behavior. In fact, a lot of people revere him as a hero of sorts. SICKENING!

But then I looked at the quote again, and realized that R.Kelly would never rape the cast of Golden Girls because he does not like oldER women. What makes this alias think he'd want grannies? They do say, however, that once you reach elderly-hood, your ways revert back to child-like behavior. I can attest to this observation, because my great-aunt shits on herself and doesn't clean her ass, and my great-uncle would leave the house, wandering around the neighborhood. True, you can attribute these behaviors to mental disorders, and true my uncle suffers from Alzheimer's/Dimentia...but still... Older people get whiny and ornery, just like little kids. So maybe that's the correlation the alias was trying to make...

But anyawy, back to my observation. R. Kelly wouldn't touch these women with a 10 foot pole, because they are old enough to be his grandmother. He only seems to be interested in GIRLS aged 13-20....hmmm....so yeah. Funny quote, and yes, some truth exists in it...but then you have to look at the facts and realize this person was just tryna get a laugh.

He succeeded.


Disclaimer: I love the Golden Girls just as much as anybody, but that shit was funny...sorry. :-(

This is SOOOO CUTE!!!

TELL ME IT AIN'T!!!

What Do you Think? WDYT?

Today has been moving kinda slow...I'm so ready to go home and take a damn nap!!! But I didn't want to NOT make a post today, seeing as I may not do it later on tonight. But anyway, I wanna make your "tummies tickle" (Husky Doug of the DBMS, lol) a little bit, just in case you are bored like me...so...

What do you think about this line-up I'm about to post? Can you see the resemblances? (click on the picture to get a "close-up")

Hahahaha esp. @ Fantasia and Trick Daddy... in the words of Craig and Smokey....

I'm bored, so please forgive my crudeness...HAHAHAHA!!! **this may get deleted. I'm just super bored right now!**

What Would Brian Boitano Do?

Shit, i don't know...but I sure love that song, and the movie it hails from, South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut! My cousin has the DVD and I remember one weekend, watching it at least twice a day. I ALSO LOOOVE the song "Uncle Fucka"...man you'd have to hear it to understand...but I was just humming the Brian Boitano song in my head over here at work, and decided I'd look up the name "Boitano"...sounds kinda French. So anyhoo...his name doesn't mean anything, but until today, I can honestly say i didn't know he was a real person...He's actually an AWESOME figure skater, and he's not bad looking, either! Big ups to Brian Boitano! But anyway, here's the lyrics to "What would Brian Boitano Do"...


What would Brian Boitano do
If he was here right now,
He'd make a plan And he'd follow through,
That's what Brian Boitano'd do.


When Brian Boitano was in the olympics,
Skating for the gold,
He did two sow cows and a triple lutz,
While wearing a blind fold.

When Brian Boitano was in the alps,
Fighting grizzly bears,
He used his magical fire breath,
And saved the maidens fair.

So what would Brian Boitano do
If he were here today,
I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two,
That's what Brian Boitano'd do.

I want this V-chip out of me,
It has stunted my vo-ca-bu-lar-y.

And I just want my Mom
To stop fighting everyone

For Wendy I'll be an activist, too,
Cuz that's what Brian Boitano would do.

And what would Brian Boitano do,
He'd call all the kids in town,
And tell them to unite for truth
That's what Brian Boitano would do.

When Brian Boitano travelled through time
To the year 3010,
He fought the evil robot king
And saved the human race again

And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids,
He beat up Kublia Khan
Cuz Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from an-y-body

So lets all get together,
And unite to stop our Mom's
And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too,
Cuz that's what Brian Boitano do.

And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too,
Cuz that's what Brian Boitano dooooooo,
That's what Brian Boitano do.

I think it's funny how the creators of South Park, took an ordinary person (not literally, but technically), and made him into some kind of a super hero, fighting for the human race, and inspiring little kids everywhere...I LAUGH everytime I see this movie. An honorable mention for Favorite song from the soundtrack goes to, "It's Easy, M'Kay", sung by the nonchalant, monotone teacher Mr. Mackey...

Anyway, I'll take my leave now and come back later...have to go check out my favorite blogs and message boards and see who's talking shit now! HOLLA!